Let's say......

iVillage Member
Registered: 08-08-2007
Let's say......
45
Tue, 05-27-2008 - 4:45pm

.....that your boyfriend (or girlfriend for you guys) of oh, about 1.5 years had a nasty wench ex FWB that would call him and talk inappropriately, creating drama and always trying to wedge her big broom butt into your relationship. She started calling again like three times a week...and calls him at WORK (no doubt because that is when she can get him without any worry that you are there, as you would get upset...go figure). Let's say that you had a conversation with said boyfriend about 10 days ago and he agree to tell her to stop calling him. Boyfriend said he would tell you when the conversation with wench happened, which he said would be "next time she calls me".


So 10 days later no word about wench calling, therefore no word about the "stop calling me" conversation. You call boyfriend at his work this morning and his line is tied up. You call back a while later and mention how busy he has been at work. He says yes, very busy. You ask if he has been doing a lot of work on the phone, he says no, why do you ask. You say, because your line was tied up for a while. He gives no explanation, only says he's been real busy and then asks about my day. You are very curious (OK..suspicious) because of the past and because no word yet on the conversation he was to have to end the calls.


Would you ask him directly? For example: "So has (wench) called you lately?"


Or would you not say a word and just keep waiting for him to say something?

~Pacific~
~Pacific~
iVillage Member
Registered: 03-11-2004
Wed, 05-28-2008 - 9:44am

Pac...im sorry. There seems to be a boat load of issues that go along with BE's. Seems they enable each other at your expense. I am glad that you stood up for yourself and asked though. I know when i listen to my gut it always tells me the truth and seems yours did to....even if it felt like a swift kick to it as well. Now seems like a good time to reevalute the emotional toll its taken on you...and you should never have to get "used to" feeling like youve been run over by a truck for loving someone...


((((HUGS))))


PS...i like the idea of leaving this at her front door...sorry couldnt resist


M

iVillage Member
Registered: 10-30-2004
Wed, 05-28-2008 - 10:12am

((((((((Pacific))))))))))

iVillage Member
Registered: 11-03-2003
Wed, 05-28-2008 - 10:40am

Oouch!

iVillage Member
Registered: 10-09-2005
Wed, 05-28-2008 - 11:17am

I'm a little late to chime in but wanted to send hugs your way.

Cat
iVillage Member
Registered: 05-13-2005
Wed, 05-28-2008 - 11:41am

I ditto this response - Soonee, as usual, hits it on the head.

Sorry PacSun - you are so sweet and sunny! I can't imagine what he is thinking.

I hope you realize, though, that it is not you, it is him - you have everything great to offer and you need someone to realize that and hold up their half of the bargain. I would be so annoyed that he is still talking to a FWB - and not stopping the calls. I am glad you stood up to him. Be strong!!!!!!

I really love how you said that he was more worried about her feelings than your feelings.

iVillage Member
Registered: 08-08-2007
Wed, 05-28-2008 - 12:17pm

That's the thing, Shrimpy. In my book he choses her over me by not ending the corrospondance.

~Pacific~
iVillage Member
Registered: 10-30-2004
Wed, 05-28-2008 - 12:23pm
I'd almost be tempted to personally call her up and have a little "woman to wench" talk with her.
iVillage Member
Registered: 08-08-2007
Wed, 05-28-2008 - 12:24pm

I AM so furious. I woke up this morning (had to take a pill to get to sleep, ugh) and when I woke I still feel the same fury. In the past if I over reacted I woke up feeling like hey, maybe I was off, I can meet hiom half way. But this morning, today, I still feel so mad and I know it is because I am right in my feelings. I am not asking for too much. If that man even dares to utter the words that I am being too sensitive, over reactive or infelxible over this those will be the last words I will ever hear out of his mouth because I'll walk out so fast he won't know what happened. God help him if he says that.


The drinking has been so much better. It's funny and sad how one major hurdle starts to smooth out and then wham, here comes another mack truck when I was looking other way in the street.


I just wonder if its all one big dysfunctional package


Honestly, I wonder the same thing now. Maybe I'm wrestling with a monster who can't be morphed by love or logic or reason. Why don't I get it through my thick head that you can't argue with dysfunction.

~Pacific~
~Pacific~
iVillage Member
Registered: 10-07-2005
Wed, 05-28-2008 - 12:27pm

((((((((((((((PAC)))))))))))))))


She is not a friend if she's not willing to respect boundaries- FWB or not.


Photobucket
iVillage Member
Registered: 08-08-2007
Wed, 05-28-2008 - 12:28pm

talking on the phone isn't necessarily cheating, but sometimes it's what's in the heart that matters


Exactly. I'm disappointed that he would allow her to call at all. I'm just sick over it. I feel done and spent.


Thanks for understanding. I know you know the feelings...

~Pacific~
~Pacific~