Life after the serious comment..

iVillage Member
Registered: 09-25-2004
Life after the serious comment..
24
Sun, 01-20-2008 - 2:13am

Thanks all for all your great advice on my last post. I thought I will give my updates now.


With all the things I learnt from the board.. I made it a point to not give in to Biker untill he apologises totally or makes me feel better.


We did meet at work on wednesday and thursday and I was friendly but I didnt call him in the night ( totally not like me) and surprise surprise he didnt call either. I felt that he doesnt care at all.. and was even more angry and I told one of my GF about it and she said dont sit and wait go and date and she asked a friend of hers (whom she thinks will be good match for me ) if he would like to meet me and okay this guy started e-mailing me ..Just only very friendly emails.


Now my silly Biker is

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iVillage Member
Registered: 06-04-2004
Thu, 01-24-2008 - 2:38pm

That is one EXCELLENT post, QB!!!!! **applause-applause-applause**


I totally agree, and I am glad I have something of that sort with Hiker now, too. No more of the desperate and clingy relationships like I had in the past (either I was clingy, or he was, or BOTH were- ick). And no more keeping one foot OUT the door just in case, either! Too clingy is bad... but always on the lookout for something else is just as bad.


Sometimes my insecurity rears its ugly head too- and I ask "does he love me enough?" and then I tell myself that whether he loves me or not, is not what makes me happy. I would hope he loves me enough, sure... but if he didn't, or if he stopped... well, I would just have to move on. I'm okay now, and I would be okay then. I like who I am, and the presence of a man doesn't MAKE me who I am.


And that part of being giddy and love-sick? Sure it's fun when the relationship is new- but it's true that a REAL relationship doesn't (and can't) just run on that giddiness as its driving force forever. There HAS to be a solid foundation of friendship, trust, understanding, compatibility in place or else when that giddiness and infatuation fades, the relationship will fade and fall apart as well.


Great post, QB!


~shrimpy

~shrimpy

"A man who wants something will find a way; a man who doesn't will find an excuse." ~Stephen Dolley Jr.

~<

iVillage Member
Registered: 09-25-2004
Fri, 01-25-2008 - 9:13am

All,


iVillage Member
Registered: 05-13-2005
Fri, 01-25-2008 - 9:19am

Sounds like you had a smidge of "smother" - and that time away is good to reflect and evaluate and give you the answers you seek. Also more time - you can't make a big decision yet because you need more time. I think this thread has been great - I have loved reading everyone's answers and perspectives, as always.

Avatar for mhash
iVillage Member
Registered: 03-27-2003
Fri, 01-25-2008 - 3:33pm

I think it is great that you are acknowledging Biker for respecting his need.

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