A Little Diversion - Update
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| Thu, 12-01-2005 - 1:36pm |
First, I wanted to thank everyone for their advice and support. As for the medical part of it, I explained to my doctor over the phone what was going on and he wanted to see me that night. He was trying to stay positive and reserve judgment until the lab results came in. But, as we were walking out, he gave me some samples of medication, looked me in the eyes, and said, "I'm pretty sure you have what you think you have". And I asked him if the results were positive if we would talk about what I can do about it. And he said of course. So, next Tuesday when the results come in and he calls me, I'm sure he will have a treatment plan for me. I have been reading some things from the internet, and I think once I get on a treatment plan and get it under control, I will feel better.
Since I know everyone likes to here dating updates, I thought I would share this with you, although I really think it's no big deal. I got a phone call at home yesterday from a guy I met on E-Harmony, and he wants to set up a meeting. We talked for about a half hour, and he seems real nice. I was trying to decide whether I wanted to meet him or not, but I kind of get the feeling that I won't be hearing from him any more. I think the fact that I have 8-year-old twins freaked him out. He seemed fine in the beginning of the conversation, but towards the end when we were talking about the kids, he seemed different. And I don't think that he liked the fact that I wanted to set something up on my free weekend, which is next weekend. I think he probably wants someone at his disposal at any time. Sorry, that's not me. Of course, I may be reading a lot into this, it's just a gut feeling I got. So, I would be surprised if he calls back to set something up. My hesitation is that he's really not what I'm looking for -- he's 46, never been married and has no children. I just don't think I want to do that again. It just never works out for me. So, if he calls to set something up, do I go and give it a try, or just tell him he's not what I'm looking for? What would you do?
I know everyone said I should go out with Jeff next week. Well, I hope I can cheer up a little and get out of this funk. I don't know if anyone can understand this, but I just feel really funny about dating right now. I just don't feel right about it, but I can't really explain why -- but I just feel that something changed when I found out about the STD --like it's all different now. I even thought about letting my membership to E-Harmony expire at the end of this month. I really have this urge to just run away and hide and be a recluse. Not to mention that I feel as sexy and desirable as a toad right now. On the other hand, getting out might keep my mind off my troubles. Not sure what to do. Maybe I am going crazy?
Any thoughts would be appreciated.
Donna

I would vote AGAINST the 46 never been married guy who is ONLINE. If you met him in real life and clicked and he was really into you because you kept becoming better friends and finding more in common I could say okay - but online I would say NO WAY! I can go on and on with reasons but we have all discussed the reasons NOT to go for someone with this profile.
If you are not into dating and need time to allow yourself to come to grips with the whole STD incident then you must do so - just chill for a bit. I think you are probably reeling with the whole thing and with how let down and hurt you feel about what Mark did. I also think after reading your letter today that maybe you just need time to yourself. You are sick of the dating scene - and the call from the eharmony guy drove this home.
Anyway, I would vote to get offline and get out of the house more. I know it is hard with twins - maybe you just need to do stuff with them. Or more with your church. Or take a class. I am not sure - only you know.
If Jeff wants to do casual stuff - maybe something simple during the day like lunch or coffee to just be social that is okay. He sounds so nice from all you have written and his companionship could be good for you now. I would not go into a whole saga about what you have been through with Mark - just enjoy his company and take it from there.
Keep us posted. I think if I was you I would delete all entries for online - it is such a frustrating hard process especially for a single mom in our age group - that it is just not worth your time and emotional energy. But that is just my opinion.
I think you will be just fine in time. You will learn that a lot of people live with STDs and there are a lot of treatment options. Keep us posted.
Judy:
Thanks for your response. If you have a chance, take a look at my other post. I just posted a response to Kait. That will give you a little better idea of where my head is at right now and why I feel the way I do.
For what it's worth, I think you're right. I need a break and some much-deserved me time.
Thanks again.
Donna
Donna,
I agree with Judy that you should take a break from dating.