living with papers update

iVillage Member
Registered: 11-22-2006
living with papers update
12
Wed, 05-28-2008 - 10:14pm
Well I feel a bit MIA on here so I thought I would give a tiny update. There is much stressing going on at my place still over the real estate situation.
Still no for sale sign up in front of the house but I am not going to assume that she has changed her mind. I have asked the others in the building if they know any updates on the situation and nobody has answers. I hesitate to contact the landlord because here finally her procrastination on dealing with the property might be a good thing if eventually she just takes her sweet time selling. More time for me to save and improve the credit score, shop lenders etc, right? I may cave though and email her before long just because I dont know how long I can take the mystery of it all.
I am waiting for my accountant to finish my taxes still which is starting to irk me and SYB is still finishing his paperwork as well. I am getting antsy now and we are arguing a lot. I am preparing the Tchaikovsky Concerto for a concert in August and that is enough to make me cry a river but I was in tears last night over nothing in particular and I just know I will feel better once the lender has all of our stuff. I am still saving like crazy and working a lot so this part is going well. My finances are looking better and better but I still think we will be house poor once we come up with a downpayment and closing costs. So be it if it gets us stabilized and somewhere good but all of it is hard on my system for now.
Meanwhile, new students are calling and concerts are coming so all of that is good. I have moved forward with plans on starting a music program after school for my son's school and have met with church where I want to start a young artists concert series next year so those two projects are plugging away. I actually have MADE myself go to therapy twice a month for the past few months to make sure I dont drop these projects because they are so close to my heart and I dont want to see this most recent housing crisis derail things that will bring me such joy and truly nourish my spirit all next year.
So overall I am feeling both very tired and vulnerable and also very strong for keeping everything up and juggling well all things considered.
I also had a romantic mid afternoon sieste with SYB and he let me give him a hair cut so that relaxed me and felt very intimate and romantic - boy did we both need that. What is it bout someone letting you trim their hair? If I were a hairdresser I would be horny ALL THE TIME! OK TMI....sorry!!
Lilypie - Personal picture

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iVillage Member
Registered: 11-22-2006
Thu, 05-29-2008 - 8:45pm

Thanks for responding Pac and I know youa re up to your ears in emotions these days!!
I am super lucky to have my work be my passion. I thank God every day for this. Even when I am stressed I have to remind myself that I am stressed over work I love and so many dont have that!
I think SYB and I are trying to deal with the stress as best we can. Yesterday afternoon was lovely. He would have sex all day somehow I think ( maybe this dating younger thing will kill me?lol) and I think in some ways it is a coping thing for him when he is stressed. I have trouble getting my head and body in the right place for this if my to do list is massively long and I feel like I am constantly working against time. Also I am not someone who can typically jump straight to getting naked unless we have some time to gaze and connect and we barely have that right now. I have to admit I feel physically a bit disconnected lately. I hope this will pass soon enough!!!

I hope you are still feeling strong over there. I am about to post on the other thread...

ue
Lilypie - Personal picture
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Registered: 11-22-2006
Thu, 05-29-2008 - 8:56pm
I dont remember feeling poised after the string hit me that night. Whats amazing about performance is that with correct training if I open my body up to signals even while nervous, I can literally be scared stiff and I will still watch my fingers and arm play the darn thing like I am a spectator of some sort - all it takes is the aural cue right before my solo entrance and my body just kicks in and triggers reflexes. It is both odd and a godsend!! I dont even know that I am explaining it properly.
I do a lot of work without the violin so that I dont overstress my wrists and shoulders/arms and from research I have done and experimented with, it seems it is almost as good as actual practice if not exactly as good. The same neurons are firing and I can feel the muscle memory in my body even when I am just thinking it through. I know when a note is out of tune even if I am hearing it in my head - does that makes sense? It makes for good train trips and plane trips.
I can also go to the park with a score and the dog and my DS and get things done multitask style which is wonderful.
I do about 4-5 big concerti a year and then I also do 6-8 solo performance with tango orchestra. Then i have about two recital with piano appearances a month so it is busy but not too much and honestly I might take more on if they got offered although I dont know how I would teach as much and I have grown to love that so much...
I get migraines after any performance over 30 minutes that is as hard as Tchaik so I guess the focusing for that long is very taxing on my system. It is difficult to avoid the headaches although lately I find for some odd reason that if I drink Green Machine by Odwalla or the version of it from Naked I avoid it most of the time. I would love to know why that is but mainly I am glad I have found something that helps me enjoy the after parties!!!
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