living together conundrums

iVillage Member
Registered: 09-25-2004
living together conundrums
5
Wed, 03-19-2008 - 10:43am

How many of you guessed that I will come back with a post like this when I said I am living with Biker now..(still keeping my apartment) ;-)


So for the most part we are doing great. Talking about future plans, cooking, having fun, cuddling..


Looks like my PMS is kicking in...bleh.. But it is milder than most other times.. Last night we ate dinner ( very romantic time) and then settled in bedroom, both of us browsing..He was finishing up some work and me of course browsing ivillage. I made a jibjab of his parents disco dance..It was amazing (Thanks citylife!!)..I showed it to him. He said thats cute and funny and slipped back to what he was doing. I sent it to his parents. Then I started browsing some wedding dresses..lol.. and showed him some. He said they looks nice.. I felt like, it is bedtime.. stop working and have some fun already..Hmm.. But we did talk and cuddle before that.. Anyhow I felt overly sensitive about this..Looks like he was enjoying his quiet time.. He did say that he is just enjoying what he is doing and I can do what I like.. hmm..


Now today morning we talked about it and he said he will come to bed only when he is ready to give full attention to me..No more work. Okay we listened to soem Frank SInatra songs on You tube.. LIke "the way you look tonight".. It was great.. He was almost ready to go to office and I was leaving late. Now I go into the shower.( I always lock the door when I get in. I need total privacy, I have mentioned this before to him). In between the shower I hear him knock and say something. The vent is On and I cant hear.. So I have to now step out of the hot shower and open the door.. He says "I am leaving, dont forget to turn the heat down.."..Geezz. I slammed the door back ( very bad, I know).. saying "alright" totally irritated.. Heck, He could have left a note or called me later or just waited till I came out.. This is one thing I hate..Idont want to be disturbed in my shower..grrrrrrr..


So I come out quickly and he is still leaving..He was like "why do you lock the bathroom door"..Arghhh..


So thats the short account of our breakfast time love making ;-)


Anyone else have these silly living together conundrum examples.. I am looking forward to many more of these ;-)


iVillage Member
Registered: 11-22-2006
Wed, 03-19-2008 - 11:19am
As you know I am living with my SYB and have been since about October last year. He was kind of living here before then but anyways...
All of what you have said is completely par for the course as far as I am concerned. I have this pet peeve about him browsing on his computer in bed and I also like it when we are going to bed together. I love my suddle time and he knows this. We have different schedules though so sometimes this is near impossible. We do our best to meet each others needs and we cut each other slack when we cant. You need you shower privacy and he needs to respect that as much as possible. He will slip and you need to just reiterate how much it means to you and be willing to cut him slack on occasion. I would have been irritated too if he interrupted your shower for something small that you pretty much already knew. Sounds like he felt shut out somehow and maybe he was just still reacting from feeling like you were annoyed last night and you two werent totally back on track from that. Little things like that I like the lights brighter to read in the living room than he does have come up over here and we have compromised. I told him last week that I wanted him to understand how much it meant to me that we get up together most of the time because lately he has been sleeping in and letting DS and I get up on our own and then I end up by myself in the morning for a few hours and although on occasion this is ok with me if he has had a long night ( of course) I feel lonely on a day to day basis and feel that in my shoes, he would feel the same. He responded that I was right and that he has been feeling guilty getting up after me and just needed a nudge and now he has been getting up all week with us like clockwork.
you are doing everything right. Just keep being honest about what your needs are and expect a period of adjustment. It is hard getting things right and comfortable in the beginning and not stepping on each others toes. Embrace the adjustment time as just that and all will be fine from my experience!
HUGS!
Lilypie - Personal picture
iVillage Member
Registered: 09-25-2004
Wed, 03-19-2008 - 6:02pm

CLife, Thanks for the encouragement. We taked on phone today and he said he would never bother me in shower unless we are having it together ;-) and unless the house is on fire.


We dont have any major problems . We work really well together.


I will keep you posted on how this progresses.


Most of my stuff is still in my place , so some times I feel bit irritated when I want something and dont find it..We are planning to get a UHaul and get more stuff here.


A gal needs all her stuff nearby.


iVillage Member
Registered: 10-30-2004
Wed, 03-19-2008 - 7:36pm

EG and I don't technically live together, but we kind of do.

iVillage Member
Registered: 09-25-2004
Wed, 03-19-2008 - 9:27pm

That is really funny aout the toothbrush in the sink.

I really wish I knew what it is like to feel tipsy.. I get headache if I have anything alcoholic. So there is no way.

So do you and EG adjust well with cooking, cleaning an stuff?

iVillage Member
Registered: 10-30-2004
Wed, 03-19-2008 - 9:31pm
I don't do much for housework at his place.