Lot to update everyone on (m)..obviously

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Registered: 03-26-2003
Lot to update everyone on (m)..obviously
9
Wed, 03-26-2003 - 11:12am
Well, Ch and I are going to begin the home improvements on "our" home. I am in the process of adding him to the deed and also, we are doing a "prenupt". :)

I feel very good about everything. He is so happy with us and everything that is going on. He's very concerned about the house and he'll be working very hard on the yard this weekend. He ordered a new washer and dryer, comes in this Sunday. We are not living together, but just setting everything up for when that time comes. Brian and Jimmy are going to share a room. We are converting my garage and also part of my living room (it's huge) into one big boys room. We are fixing up the current bathroom and adding a master bathroom - negative part, I will lose about 3/4 of my walk-in closet space :(

Ch is so happy. I'm so happy. I was so nervous about everything and worrying myself sick of all the what ifs, that I got the nerve up to call his twin sister and talk to her in confidence. It's was the best and honest conversation I have ever had with anyone. Ch has begun telling his family. He said they all like me alot and feel that it's about time. After all, without tooting my horn (okay, I will), I'm a pretty good catch. ;)

That's my update, now back to work.

Hugs, Marilyn

CL-Entrepreneurial Women

Business Impressions, LLC

Avatar for cl_beckty
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Registered: 03-20-2003
Wed, 03-26-2003 - 11:52am
Hey you go ahead and "toot your own horn"! It's good for you! ;)

Um, question for you. You are planning/drafting a "prenup" but not engaged or moving in yet, and he is going to be on the deed to your house w/out a marriage certificate? I am curious as to what prompted you to do things in this order.

Glad you're feeling good about your relationship. Breath of fresh air huh? :)

Hugs

Bec

Becky

 

 

Avatar for cl_tcranky1
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Registered: 03-19-2003
Wed, 03-26-2003 - 11:53am
Glad to hear things are going well Marilyn. No more trust issues? Sending big hugs your way!

Tara

P.S. How's the new business?

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Registered: 03-26-2003
Wed, 03-26-2003 - 12:06pm
Well, there are ways to work out the wording - say the deed "Tenants In Common and the percentage of who gets what on the value". Also, you can do a prenupt without getting engaged (because honestly - I believe that's coming shortly), but the prenupt has the intent to get married within the wording, etc.

Also, we want to begin working on the home by June and they are going to live at the home during the summer.

There is a more to all of this also. Ch's company was bought out by a competitor and the possibility is there that he might be laid off. If that does happen, he will more than likely be moving in. :)

Hugs, Marilyn

CL-Entrepreneurial Women

Business Impressions, LLC

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Wed, 03-26-2003 - 12:09pm
No more trust issues? Let's just say that I am a lot more relaxed, than I have been in a long time. Alot of what I was feeling had to do with me more than anything else. My insecurities. And, really it's all a matter of attitude. When I feel good inside, I feel good about my life and everything in it.

And, like to the counselor has said, and so has Ch, I either trust him or I don't. I choose to trust him and trust my heart and it feels good.

Hugs, Marilyn

CL-Entrepreneurial Women

Business Impressions, LLC

Avatar for cl_beckty
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Registered: 03-20-2003
Wed, 03-26-2003 - 12:26pm
Well now see the way I'VE always seen it, trust is more an earned priveledge than it is a choice. I guess it's both, now that I think of it.

Someone has to earn it, and when they've earned it, you have to be willing to give it.

Do you feel Chuck has earned it then? Are you still building up to that?

I have my own trust issues. Big time. And J has NEVER EVER done anything (w/the possible exception of last weekends fiasco where he drank WAY too much w/the guys and couldn't come home until late for something. And that has happened to ME before!) to make me distrust him, and STILL I feel wary if he's going out or going to be gone for a few days. Now THAT feels bad, becuase I know it's all me. And I know what you mean, deciding to trust and it feeling good. I need to more. But seems to me that Ch HAS given you reason not to trust. Sorry if I am way out of line there. Just mostly thinking out loud as I type. :)

Becky

 

 

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Registered: 03-26-2003
Wed, 03-26-2003 - 1:03pm
Yes, he has given me reasons not to trust him. But, he has also given me many more reasons to trust him, and he has proven to me, just by his actions how I can depend on him when the going gets touch to stand by my side and humble. I hope you understand what I mean. It's hard to just type out my life and interaction. I began this relationship trusting him, he didn't have to earn my trust. There were things that happened that caused me to not trust him, but I choose to look past that and see the real him and I chose to trust him. I can't keep crusifying him for his mistakes. It doesn't do our relationship any good, especially when you are trying to "feel good" in the relationship again.

So, for me, the way I work it out, was to make a choice and the choice is to trust him, give him the benefit of doubt and so far, what a wonderful relief. He has been working to earn it, but he has my trust.

Hugs, Marilyn

CL-Entrepreneurial Women

Business Impressions, LLC

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Registered: 03-25-2003
Wed, 03-26-2003 - 1:42pm
I'm so happy for you that you are feeling good! That is what is the MOST important, Marilyn. And toot your own horn, we agree that you are one fine woman! And I agree, trusting someone is alot of times, a choice. You either do or you don't. If they've had a few slips in their judgment, we have to forgive them for that, trust that they won't do it again, and move on. My parents have survived each of them having an affair - and they trust each other implicitly. It CAN be done.

I think it's wise to draw up a pre-nup. Especially for us already been there, done that and lost our butts girls! LOL Just feels like a security blanket. Before TT and I moved in together - we drew up a binding, legal financial agreement that covered who paid for what, how the money was to be handled, how what's mine is mine and what's his is his and what's our is ours, etc. I've felt alot more secure (especially with a baby together yet not being married) having that in place. It will still be a binding agreement once we get married, and we continue to abide by what we've set up.

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Registered: 03-26-2003
Wed, 03-26-2003 - 7:22pm
The toot should be LOUD and LONG, you are such a good catch!!!
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Registered: 03-26-2003
Wed, 03-26-2003 - 10:30pm
GOOD FOR YOU!!!! It sounds like things are going well. Prenump! GOOD GIRL! lol. ~pat