M, History and Jesus Sandals.......

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Registered: 04-08-2003
M, History and Jesus Sandals.......
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Mon, 07-09-2007 - 9:14am

Ok, so let me tell you what taking the High Road can accomplish.

You all know that after M dumped his stuff on my doorstep that I didn't respond to him about where his glasses were, etc. I just ignored the text message because I was so angry at him and disappointed the way he ended things in such a low form...

Friday:

I went to his office because M is on vacation and I knew that I wouldn't see him. I brought them to the reception desk and the guy who was at the desk took them and put them in a drawer. I told him to let M know, but I had a feeling that wasn't going to happen. It bugged me, because I didn't want M contacting me to find out where they were, so I decided I'd let him know Sunday night in a short FYI. So keep that in mind....

I went out with Mr. History on Friday night. I never get a pedicure, but I decided to take two hours off earlier at work and pamper myself a little. Afterwards, I went home and fixed myself up. I put on a white summer dress and a pair of white sandals to go with my dark tan. I have naturally curly hair that I straighten so I decided to let it go kinky and put on a little make up.

Mr. History picked me up and we went to a place overlooking a park for a few drinks. We just talked about all sorts of things, then he drove me to the Plantation home. It was so pretty and relaxing. The weather was perfect, so we sat outside on the wrap around porch for a candle light dinner.

What I like about Mr. History, is that he puts a lot of time in for others. He is a History teacher, but also teaches ESL and AVID (for ADD and troubled Teens). My two girls both have ADD and Alex takes AVID, so it was interesting to listen to him talk about the kids in his class. Then he also spends 20 hours a week in the summer and 10 during the school year with a one on one for Juvi teenagers. He acts like a mentor and big brother.
It'll be interesting to see exactly how much time he'll have for us. But that isn't important now.
Afterwards, we went to one of places that I have enjoyed going for Blues music and after that we went to a wine bar. So the night ended up being very late. We started out at 6:30 and I got home at 2am. Crashed! But not before Mr. History texted me to tell me he had a fantastic time with me.

Saturday:
I woke up at 5:30am to go to the beach this weekend. As I woke up, I noticed another text. It was from M! And it read: It's 3am in the morning and I can't go to sleep for thinking of you. I do miss you. If it matters.

- UM -......... Actually! No, it doesn't.....

Of course, I sent no response.

Packed my things and headed for the beach.....

Jesus Sandals said he would be on his best behaviour if he could just hang out and surf with me for the day. No discussions about us, etc. I said hesitantly yes.....

Met up with him and we had a good time and no serious conversations. Later on I went to visit other friends of mine and have dinner and stayed with my Aunt Dixie.

Mr. History sent me a text or two asking how I was. I sent him pictures of me and then he said I miss you and I should call him later. -UM- No. I decided it's ok for him to miss me a little. Don't want to just date him and give him that idea....

Sunday:
Moving right along... Sunday I woke up and went surfing again. Jesus Sandals (who got new and good looking sandals now.lol) asked if I would have brunch with him, so I said sure. We had brunch along the water and then afterwards I went shopping a little for myself.

I decided to head out a little earlier then usual, so I could get some stuff done around the house.

As I drove home, I decided to let M know where his glasses were, so I wrote him this:
"FYI, I dropped your glasses off with Mike at the Pepsi office on Friday." - nothing more, nothing less.....

A few minutes later he texts me this: " THX. I'm truly sorry about the way things worked out between us. I just hope that someday you can forgive me."

AND THEN I DECIDED TO END THIS STUPIDITY AND RESPONDED:
"You made a choice; live with it. As I said weeks ago: We were not important to you. No sweat, I've moved on."

O - U - C - H !!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

Needless to say, I didn't receive a response back. I felt SO good writing that and to me, it closed everything.

Still driving to Charlotte, Mr. History writes me a text: It's weird, I feel like I haven't seen or talked to you in a long time. I want to spend all of my time with you.

I responded with: That's cool, I enjoy my time with you. Call me later when you have downtime. Later.

THEN: A message from Jesus Sandals! (LOL, who WAS on his best behavior)
U trusted me again to be your friend, you can trust me to be your lover. You can search forever and never find anyone who adores you more and will try to make you happier than I will. Just listen to your heart. I will forever wait for you Catherine.

- OK - !!!!!!!!!!!!!!! Where does he GET this stuff????

I just wrote him and said: I don't know what to say. I'm speechless. I'll talk to him later this week.

Got home. Cleaned up the place a bit (side note: 5 cats can make more of a mess in a day then 2 kids).

Around 8:30pm Mr. History calls to talk to me and then I talked to him about 5 minutes. Told him I have to go find something to eat because my frig. is empty. He asked if I would mind if he tagged along and just watched me eat. LOL.
I said, sure, meet me.
So we met up for some wings and a few beers and talked. He asked me how many dates it was since we've met and I said does it matter? He said, yeah, kind of, because to him it seems like a dozen and I said, No, it's actually only been one and the rest were meet and greets. LOL. He looked a little put off, but I think he's trying to head where I don't want too: Exclusive dating.

As I left him (with a kiss), he wrote me and said he hated leaving me tonight and that he really enjoyed being with me.

soooooooooooo, that is my update.

I checked my emails this morning: 6 new winks and 2 emails. Not sure what to think about them. The winks I delete, but the emails I'll have to think about. Cute guys, but here I go again... Having trouble dating more then one person. DARN IT! That's ok, I don't have to date, but I don't have to let him know I'm not. I'll be ready, when I'M ready.

M sent me another email last night. Just a fun powerpoint with kittens, saying he thought I might like it. I have a feeling this isn't the end of him. :(
But of course, he will receive no response.

So that is the update............

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iVillage Member
Registered: 01-05-2004
Mon, 07-09-2007 - 9:35am

Wow Cat! What an update! lol It sound like you are having a lot of fun and that is important. I also have your problem with guys wanting to go exclusive too soon. You just keep going like you are and concentrating on what makes YOU happy.

Mr. History sounds like a great guy, a little clingy but great. Mr. Jesus Sandals is just NOT going to give up is he? And M...he can go fly a kite! lol

I hope you have fun with the guys you meet and do what is comfortable for you.

Good luck and keep us posted!

Jennifer

Avatar for myprecioustwo
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Registered: 04-08-2003
Mon, 07-09-2007 - 9:40am
Yeah, your totally right. I also just finished writing back to the emails and peeking to see when Mr. History logged on last, noticed that Mr. History took his profile off of Match.com. Uh-oh! I have a date with him tonight, so it'll be interesting to see how long it'll take for him to have a "talk" with me.
iVillage Member
Registered: 01-05-2004
Mon, 07-09-2007 - 9:53am

Uh oh is right! Good luck tonight and let him down easy if he thinks he has found the love of his life. ;)

I don't get it sometimes...it's either the guys want one thing and are persistent until they get it and then move on OR the guys want to marry you after the first date! lol I haven't met a guy who is in the middle.

I know you will but I'll just encourage you anyway.....stand your ground! :)

Jennifer

iVillage Member
Registered: 05-13-2005
Mon, 07-09-2007 - 10:02am

That is a great update, Cat!! Wow your outfit with the white dress sounded so pretty. And I laughed at the mess from 5 cats. I have 2 dogs and they can wipe out the house in a minute, worse than DS. Of course when I have the 3 of them sometimes I can't keep up!!

Glad to hear you took the high road with M and I loved what you wrote to him and how you gave it closure for you. What a finale!! Good stuff!!

Looks like your friend, even with new sandals, just can't be friends. I have a friend like that and it is sad but it has never changed in YEARS and it is a bummer because I have no romantic interest in him but always enjoy his company and conversation and casual beers.

Anyway, MrHistory looks good to me - sounds like you are handling everything great. And we are having fun with your stories!!

Also good to hear you are pampering yourself and shopping and enjoying time without the girls. My DS leaves today so we have been scurrying all weekend to get everything ready and done before he goes. We had a great weekend at the beach with the dogs and going to his favorite places for dinner.

Avatar for myprecioustwo
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Registered: 04-08-2003
Mon, 07-09-2007 - 11:29am

It's hard keeping everything so cool with MR. History because my GUARD is up big time!

I really like him, but I'm kind of at that point again where the guy just get's TOO into me and in the end it's just alot of BS; like with everyone else from my past.

I'm just trying to chill and hope he doesn't get too deep with me too soon. I just want to enjoy myself, without thinking RELATIONSHIP. However, I have a feeling that conversation is going to be coming up pretty soon.

So how do I let him know I want to keep dating, but that I really like him? Most guys don't get that. They think if you keep dating then they aren't the "IT" factor. It isn't that, but I just want things to go a little slower and not my entire focus on him, but also just enjoy myself with others. Which doesn't mean I don't think he's great, because woooooohoooooooooooo he's great. :)

Kind of funny, because on Friday night, he kissed me and it was just this tiny kiss on the lips. Very innocent and sweet. Last night, he kissed me again and was going again for the very innocent and sweet tiny kiss, then I just grabbed him and showed him what a real kiss was like, very lingering, very passionate, not hard or anything. LOL.
He just stood their really wide eyed for a moment, said I was an awesome kisser and then grabbed me and kissed me a little more passionately, but still extremely gently. I had to smile the entire time he was doing it. It was like he didn't know what to do with me. He seemed sooooooooo SHY. I gave him one last really longggg lingering kiss, winked at him, turned around and walked off. LOL.

Poor guy doesn't know WHAT hit him.

Avatar for mhash
iVillage Member
Registered: 03-27-2003
Mon, 07-09-2007 - 4:14pm

For me, I need clear, direct communication on where "we" stand with each other. My last dating excursion was with this woman who did not a committed relationship so she set my expectations that she wanted to date others and focus on the "other" aspects of her life like establishing a career, etc.

However she did initiate a nice kiss. I know for some women that they won't kiss unless they are "committed" so this can be confusing to some.

I always take people at face (so to speak *grin*) value and go by what they say to me.

Mark

Avatar for myprecioustwo
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Registered: 04-08-2003
Mon, 07-09-2007 - 4:20pm
I don't want to NOT stop seeing him, I just don't think I need to think about being exclusive less than a week after we've met. If we were dating and seeing each other as often as we do now in another two weeks, then yes, I think it would be appropriate to start dating exclusively, because we spent so much time together, but otherwise, I don't see the rush until then.
iVillage Member
Registered: 10-07-2005
Tue, 07-10-2007 - 2:35am

Ok- here's my two cents on everything...


M- well, he was just too much and his relationship with his ex and his kids was too strange- and the new dh of his ex was too creepy!


Photobucket
iVillage Member
Registered: 02-20-2007
Tue, 07-10-2007 - 9:56am

I have to agree that I don't think Mr. History is for Catherine but for a different reason. I think he is coming on way too strong. He is constantly calling, texting and wanting to see her way too much. She should keep looking and try to keep contact down to every few days and not see each other more than once or twice a week. He seems almost too into her. That would totally creep me out.

I'm sorry, but I think very differently when it comes to looks. The person on the inside is what is the most important thing. Now if she just isn't attracted to him, that is totally different. Almost all the really hot guys that I have dated have been players and way too into themselves. I know that is a generality and they can be good looking and still be nice people and I don't want to be a snob in reverse. I just think focusing more on who the person is and less on what they look like is important. As long as you aren't totally turned off by them, why should they have to be the best looking person in the room?

JMHO
Priscilla -

Avatar for myprecioustwo
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Registered: 04-08-2003
Tue, 07-10-2007 - 10:09am

Hey Alison,
THANK YOU SOOO MUCH FOR YOUR POST!!
When I met Mr. History that first night with his friends, his friends are WAY HOT, their was no other way to describe it! LOL. However, they aren't my type. Make sense? They are YUPPY hot, model types that I just don't like. LOL. I like a man to look like a man. Not one that just stepped out of a fashion magazine. To me, those men are just NICE to look at and in all honesty, they look for YUPPY women who care nothing about the person you are, but the money you have. They women they are dating and attracted to, proved that theory.

Mr. History is very good looking, but if you put him next to his friends, he just seems to vanish. Maybe because he's not "Magazine HOT" but he's "nerdy hot". Make sense? I happen to love guys that are a little nerdy looking. Those have started to be my types in the last 8 years.

Anyway....

As for the rest of Mr. History. You may be right; I am unsure what to say so far. We enjoy each others company, but he is VERY shy in some ways. He is funny, talks a whole lot, but their is still something VERY shy about him. Which can be a good thing or a very bad thing. I guess it won't matter until I start deciding how much longer we are going to date. Some things just make me think if we are such a good match or not. Nothing major, but just different. I can't put my finger on it. Maybe it's because sometimes I'll just mention my girls regarding something and I am not getting the reaction I am waiting for. Its like an awkward pause afterwards. He's never dated anyone with children, so it might be that, but I don't know. He's never asked about them and I bring up the topic. I guess that's ok, because he just wants to get to know me and I'm used to dating guys with kids that talk about their kids. It's a topic we have in common and sometimes compared. It's an adjustment. That's all and I know it is for him too. He also has a room mate and I had to laugh, because the room mate is a Pamela Anderson BOMB SHELL!!! LOL. I was REALLY suprised and he never mentioned he had a room mate. I met her last night. Very nice person but WHOA??!!! How did he find her? LOL! Plastic from head to toe. Like a teeeeenie tiny waist and these HUGE boobs and BLEACHED out blond hair and a MAJOR dark tan. I was just suprised he didn't have a guy friend as a room mate and had her as one. Again, didn't make me feel uncomfortable, I just found it ultra strange. LOL. Not to mention that Mr. History's bed spread (he was showing me his apartment) has the steelers as a duvet. LOL! It made me think he was a little boy and now I keep imaginging that if we were ever intimate, I may see him wearing underooos super hero underwear. I can't seem to get the image out of my head.

As for Mark and JS, yes, you are very very very very right.

I was dumb to think that spending any time with JS was ok and enough time went by.

As for M, well, it was just an all around bad idea to even get involved. Even though, I really liked him and I miss him, but that's ok. If I didn't, then I would really have to evaluate why. It just shows that I cared for him and that's ok.

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