making nonexclusive work for me

iVillage Member
Registered: 03-25-2002
making nonexclusive work for me
16
Thu, 11-06-2008 - 10:15am

yes i know i need a ruler hand slap. I met the next hottie last night. That would make him Hottie5 but i hesitate with that nickname cuz you all might give me a hard time.


so i guess i'm less impressed with myself now.. lol


let's just say he's

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iVillage Member
Registered: 06-03-2008
Thu, 11-06-2008 - 10:21am

LOL....you go girl...

iVillage Member
Registered: 03-11-2004
Thu, 11-06-2008 - 10:39am

Loony Loony Loony...what is it exactly that you want out of someone? Girly i thought i was impatient, you dont give the manure time to saturate the dirt to see if anything is going to grow. Stop trying to miracle grow your life and sit back and relax...breath...let things grow. You move to fast through life you are gonna miss a lot of little things along the way. you're worth the little moments Loony not just the big ones!


Thats all...Forest Gump retreating to her cave again.


(((HUGS)))


M

iVillage Member
Registered: 10-07-2005
Thu, 11-06-2008 - 11:10am

No hand slap from me!

I agree that if MM doesn't want exclusive then you shouldn't sit around waiting and hoping he'll change his mind: get out there and date!

But dating another guy without long term potential, are you sure you TRULY want that?

I know you like the hotties, and there's nothing wrong with that to LOOK AT, but you have to step back and look at the situation here. You're 36 and have 5 children, you have a wonderful career and a lot to offer. What is the focus for you? A romp in the hay with a young hottie or a solid relationship that will become a family?


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iVillage Member
Registered: 03-11-2004
Thu, 11-06-2008 - 11:15am

Hmm Al some how yours sounds better than mine...LOL but thats what i was getting at in a round about way...you know the bit about the romp in the hay...LOL I think pushing through a backet full of numbers hoping for one to stick with substance is a tough one. I just meant dont push so hard for things so soon out. But like i said yours is much better ;0)


M

iVillage Member
Registered: 03-15-2004
Thu, 11-06-2008 - 11:18am

Why WOULDNT or SHOULDNT your thoughts be that. If someone says they dont want to see you exclusively or tell you they are pretty sure you woudlnt be a long term person for them, then you DO need to continue meeting & seeing guys. AND, go on REAL dates. & his asking you to go for Sushi IS a "date".


But, i also wonder Loony, why are you so hell bent on finding someone, anyone, to fill your time? Where do you even FIND the time?



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~Rebecca, Mom to Averey, 8 & Lotsa Labs!




Edited 11/6/2008 11:20 am ET by rlch (rlch2)

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iVillage Member
Registered: 03-15-2004
Thu, 11-06-2008 - 11:19am
NoW TRULY - that would be THE best sentiment I've read on here in a long, long while. Life is NOT just about hooking up with hotties. Sure, its nice. But its not a prerequisite!

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~Rebecca, Mom to Averey, 8 & Lotsa Labs!

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iVillage Member
Registered: 03-25-2002
Thu, 11-06-2008 - 11:44am
well yesterday's feedback made me fearful of rejection from MM... (the disclaimer and the possible "talk") i decided not to sit at home. i went out
iVillage Member
Registered: 11-22-2006
Thu, 11-06-2008 - 12:01pm
Well having options isnt a bad thing if MM doesnt want to be exclusive I guess. I just would caution to not spend time collecting options if what you really need to do is have a heart to heart with MM - assuming you really want to be in an exclusive relationship with MM but are just nervous about his willingness to do so. I know that for me, when I was sure I wanted to be exclusive with SYB, I had no urge to look at other options - I was set on him and wanted to know how he felt at that point and my mind was focused on that. It sounds to me that you think MM is on board for something real this time but are just afraid to ask and are distracting yourself a bit - totally normal, but it might not get you what you want ultimately. JMHO.
Lilypie - Personal picture
iVillage Member
Registered: 08-23-2006
Thu, 11-06-2008 - 12:05pm
Lol, back before I had my dd, when I had a social life, my policy was to always have a "back-up". The last relationship before getting pregnant, I didn't have a back-up and got my heart broken. So if you're not exclusive, then there is no reason not to have a back-up. Have fun! And not all hotties are for hook-ups only. Some might actually be nice guys with real potential for long term. You just never know.
iVillage Member
Registered: 10-07-2005
Thu, 11-06-2008 - 12:11pm

And when MM says again that he's confused, doesn't know what he wants, but is "drawn" to you (read: horny for action with you)?


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