making nonexclusive work for me
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making nonexclusive work for me
| Thu, 11-06-2008 - 10:15am |
yes i know i need a ruler hand slap. I met the next hottie last night. That would make him Hottie5 but i hesitate with that nickname cuz you all might give me a hard time.
so i guess i'm less impressed with myself now.. lol
let's just say he's

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"Just a thought... what about NOT going to the bars for a month? What if you got out with your children, other moms and FEMALES- NOT MEN, for one month? Reclaim who you are as a woman, mother and friend instead of chasing dates, kissing and hotties? Get yourself out during the day when the kids are at school and have fun that doesn't include a Cheers setting or karaoke. "
This is exactly what my counselor had me do but for longer than a month. I think it ended up being more like 3 or so but only because I enjoyed it and felt better and better as I did it. I was spinning with the dating and all of its ups and downs. This helped me so much it is hard to describe - it helped me remember how much I was worth to the world kind of, not just men. Then I met SYB a few months after the dating hiatus. I had a had a few dates before him but nothing major - I really think one of the reasons I saw him clearly when we met was because I was finally centered about me.
MM is the most real thing so far... there's just all the cautions... he had those doubts. i tend to distract myself with someone new when i'm unsure of where things are going...
i don't even know if i remember what and how to do a relationship. On the one hand it feels like MM and I are easing naturally into one.. with the constant communication and connection. Without defining it helps things to move forward without feeling forced. except for the "not knowing where i stand" thing... but at the same time, having a backup plan will also keep my spirits lighthearted. i think that's what nonexclusive dating for 6 months means.... date several people while figuring out what works and what you want... that's my plan anyway.
Loonybunny
glad i didn't get hand slapped actually
How are you going to handle the sleeping together thing though? It seems like next week it will be hard to resist and then what? Do you then sleep with one and date others or wait it out the six months? I hope I am not alone in saying I dont think I could hold out six months to have sex with someone I truly had chemistry with....I am just not that well behaved!
Loony - You always have such a wonderful positive spirit.
I am just not that well behaved!
me neither...lol.... so this will be interesting. My longest time spent dating before having sex with the person was 4 months and that was because it was my first time...
my average .. hmmmm... i don't even know but i'm guessing it's around one month or about 5 dates. Have i only slept with guys after the exclusive talk. heck no... I'm guilty of going with the moment and then reflecting afterwards BUT i'm not a regretful person. and i don't regret any decisions i've made. there is enough forgiveness and grace to cover our mistakes. I'm more of a "you only live once" person... carefree... i make course corrections when need be (like GPS) but don't dwell too long on what coulda woulda shoulda. I'll reflect
No rulers from me!
You go girl. I like that you aren't so focused on MM that you can't see what else is out there. After all, if he doesn't want to be exclusive, you are under no obligation to do the same. Funny, though, I think some guys will tell you they don't want to be exclusive, but they somehow expect that YOU will be. I wonder if that will happen here?
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