male financial acceptance

iVillage Member
Registered: 01-10-2004
male financial acceptance
5
Sun, 06-26-2005 - 11:38am
I just don't get some women. In the message boards I read about men who are lazy and a financial mess. Where I live women put to much thought into how much money a man has available. I pay my child support ,bills and rent on time with only $150. per week left for my own fun. For to many women that is not enough. Do any of you put a $ value on a man .
Women I meet want to go out a few evenings a week and that is to expensive for me.
Are there women left who are looking for love and not just money?
iVillage Member
Registered: 02-19-2004
Sun, 06-26-2005 - 12:07pm

There are lazy women and lazy men, irresponsible women and irresponsible men, there are men who are a financial mess and women who are a financial mess. Are you really sure ALL the women who live in your area care more about money than love? Really? In my experience, generalizations don't get you very far because not all people fit into one cookie cutter judgement.

>>>I pay my child support, bills and rent on time with only $150. per week left for my own fun. For to many women that is not enough. Do any of you put a $ value on a man. Women I meet want to go out a few evenings a week and that is to expensive for me.<<<

I pay my child support, bills, rent on time with around $40-$70 left each week for my own fun. Many times 'fun' includes buying art supplies for dd and I do make some crafts or dinner out for her and I at the diner for around $15, or some sunscreen so we can swimming. I'm not complaining. Would I like more? Yes, and one day I may have more, I work hard and my income goes up every year. When I was dating my x-bf we went out once or twice every other weekend. Going out was an inexpensive dinner out and maybe renting a movie, certainly nothing extravagant. We took turns paying.

>>>Are there women left who are looking for love and not just money?<<<

When I start looking again, I'll be looking for love. What I'm NOT looking for is a man like my ex-h, who wants me to take care of him, who cares more about his needs and having new toys for his birthday and Christmas than saving for dd's college, that wants me to bear the responsibilty of the families finances so he can blame me when we don't have money for something he thinks he deserves, while he occasionally sabotages our ability to get ahead financially. What I want is a financial partner AND love.

When you are reading message boards, you may see a lot of women complaining about their ex's but that only because there are a lot of women here. If we had more men, you'd see more complaints about both sexes. Most importantly, when we are complaining we aren't usually complaining about all men, we are complaining about the men in our lives, specific men that have hurt us or let us or our children down and we are dealing with the pain and frustration from them. Sometimes we'd just like that person who hurt us and causes us so many problems to stop doing that to us over and over again. It does not at all mean we judge YOU or that we are just looking for someone to make all our problems disappear. We are just looking for support of others who have BTDT or are right now going through the same thing.

If you ask me, what's important when it comes to money IS someone who pays his bills ontime and takes responsibility for his obligations (financial and otherwise). I think most here would agree with me? Ladies?




Edited 6/26/2005 12:34 pm ET ET by firstamendment

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iVillage Member
Registered: 05-13-2005
Sun, 06-26-2005 - 12:36pm

Welcome to our board. You sound like a very responsible dad and person.

There are women who want a man with money - just like there are men who want a woman with looks like Pamela Anderson. Financial support is actually an important common emotional need for women just like a mate with good looks is one of the top common emotional needs for men.

There is much written on emotional needs of men and women and how they differ at marriagebuilders.com.

With that said, I think that there are plenty of women who would accept a man such as yourself who is responsible and a good person provided you are into them, want a relationship and are affectionate and fun - this is regardless of the trinkets you have to offer. I would take that any day.

I think that initially you do have to spend a few evenings a week "out" to get to know each other and build friendship and trust - not just hop into bed - but then that can easily turn into evenings at each other's place with a home-cooked meal, rented movie or time with the kids. Hopefully you can communicate your situation and find the right woman who wants a good man.

I think you can also pick things to do that are less expensive - like a cup of coffee, a movie, a cozy dinner at an inexpensive Italian restaurant, going for a walk in the park, working out or glass of wine at happy hour. Are you sure the women really want an expensive night out? I think you would be surprised - they are just as happy to go out to somewhere inexpensive if you are interested in them, calling them and taking them out!!

We hope you will stay here and participate - it would be great to have "a man around the house." This board is heavily weighted with women - as such - because we are titled single moms and dating. But we do welcome the input of all.

Best wishes - there are lots of good women - you will find the one for you. Enjoy your journey!!

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iVillage Member
Registered: 05-13-2005
Sun, 06-26-2005 - 1:25pm
If you ask me, what's important when it comes to money IS someone who pays his bills on time and takes responsibility for his obligations (financial and otherwise). I think most here would agree with me? Ladies?



Yes - I agree - someone who is responsible - who pays bills on time, has a dose of reality with what they can afford and not afford, and who is happy with what they have and what they do; who is fulfilled and likes to go to work - but not spend their whole life there. Of course a sprinkle of ambition, helps too.



I would cherish a date with someone who enjoys my company and looks in my eyes. This can easily happen over a $6 sandwich at Hooters. Seriously.
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iVillage Member
Registered: 06-30-2003
Sun, 06-26-2005 - 9:14pm

If you are dating women who want to go out a few nights a week, then I'm guessing that you are dating women who do not have children of their own. A mom doesn't have that much free time or energy to go out.

I think you should look at the type of women that you select. Maybe your priorities aren't straight and you keep choosing the gold digging type, because they are pretty or whatever.

iVillage Member
Registered: 05-03-2005
Sun, 06-26-2005 - 9:37pm


Absolutely agree with what your saying about someone financially stable and someone who is responsible with money. This does not necessarily mean someone who has loads of money.

As far as what the original poster was saying about how women wanted to go out several times a week. Wow! As for myself, I DO NOT have that kind of time! Be pretty lucky to get me out once a week. lol