Marilyn - Our household of ADD
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Marilyn - Our household of ADD
| Wed, 06-16-2004 - 3:35am |
Hi Marilyn,
I didn't know that your son had ADD. Have you spoken to the Doctor about who might have it in your family or your son's fathers family?
Did you know that 90% of all ADD people search for other ADD people? Yes, a known fact. Reason for stating that, is because I have it. I have it from my mother and her side of the family, both my girls have it(whose both fathers have it as well). So our household is a chaotic mess. I was awful in school and I still have so many problems that I go through, but I don't take medication for it. I have learned to live with it and work with it. Yet, I am greatful for the medication that has helped my oldest DD. She was tested with a very High IQ and so we put her into school early. She started failing and failing until one day the teacher spoke to us that she probably has ADD. So we had her tested at a clinic. Sure enough, she did, so we had her put on medication. She also went from failing and depressive child to a A and B positive student.
My little one has it more severe. She is 3 and has AHDS; she won't be able for medication for a while longer. Including my Mom, the four of us are a handful to deal with. I always feel sorry for people that have us all at one time. We never shut up! LOL
I didn't know that your son had ADD. Have you spoken to the Doctor about who might have it in your family or your son's fathers family?
Did you know that 90% of all ADD people search for other ADD people? Yes, a known fact. Reason for stating that, is because I have it. I have it from my mother and her side of the family, both my girls have it(whose both fathers have it as well). So our household is a chaotic mess. I was awful in school and I still have so many problems that I go through, but I don't take medication for it. I have learned to live with it and work with it. Yet, I am greatful for the medication that has helped my oldest DD. She was tested with a very High IQ and so we put her into school early. She started failing and failing until one day the teacher spoke to us that she probably has ADD. So we had her tested at a clinic. Sure enough, she did, so we had her put on medication. She also went from failing and depressive child to a A and B positive student.
My little one has it more severe. She is 3 and has AHDS; she won't be able for medication for a while longer. Including my Mom, the four of us are a handful to deal with. I always feel sorry for people that have us all at one time. We never shut up! LOL
Anyway, I am glad that your son has gotten helped through the diagnosis. It's a big help. Just remember a lot of what they do is not in their control. They don't know why they do some of the things they do. They need loads of support, support, support. Since I know what a terrific mom you are, I know I didn't need to say that.
Big hugs,
Catherine

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My son was diagnosed with ADD in December and although I am not medicating him, I am trying to work on his behaviors with a reward system which is working out but not for his impulsiveness. What are somethings you try to do for your daughters? I really did not want to put him on medication without trying some other options. What medication is she on? Thier Dad was diagnosed with ADD so that's where he gets it from.
Lori
Lori, I am glad you posted this. We are ready to test Ty, but I also want to avoid med's.
1) how did you get diagnosis?
2) what KINDS of reward systems are you implementing? I'd LOVE some ideas. We're at the end of our patience with Tyler. And this child cannot work well in classroom setting. He has to sit separate from everyone to get anything done. But his teacher insisted that while he seemed frustrated by learning, he was VERY respectful and not disruptive. He just can't pay attention and grasp directions and concepts.
My neighbor went off the medication and started a new diet and new vitamins (I can ask
Kim
Well it started off with his teacher bringing this to our attention. I knew something was up since probably about age 3, he is 7 now. So she brought her suspicions to the school board and then we took him to see a Neurology doctor and she diagnosed him. It was pretty evident with the tests she was doing. She however was pushing medication; I was pushing for no medication. So I ended up doing a boat load of research and found a social worker which in the beginning I was not aware of this, I got her name from the Guidance Counselor at his school. She is the one that came up with the rewards system after meeting with him and confirming our previous diagnosis. That was in March! Around her it is extremely difficult to get appointments with anyone regarding ADD or ADHD. I was on and are still on waiting lists for doctors, I can even tell you how many people I tried calling. I choose 3 things that I would like to see an improvement with Matthew and every day is split into 2. He can accumulate 6 stars for the day, if he gets 4 stars he gets to pick his reward. Some of his rewards are revving the motorcycle, having a snack of his choice (usually the one picks), staying up 1/2 hr later. I tried to come up with thing that HE would like to do. If you want, I can actually send you the Behavior Modification document that I made up for him when I get home. It really has helped but definitely not in his impulsiveness. The school also has a reward system set up the same as mine at home. I will make a determination by the end of the summer if I will put him on medication or not. His father is PRO medication and has fought me at each and ever attempted I have made with him. So it’s been more difficult for me to try and keep things together.
Lori
Yes, I'd love to learn about that diet and vitamins.
Thanks Lori
1) how did you get diagnosis? Jimmy was diagnosed through a brain type scan. They put these sticky things around his head and they ask him to focus, pay attention. Apparently they have found the part of the brain that diagnosis ADD and it's about 90% accurate. His came back positive.
2) what KINDS of reward systems are you implementing? Jimmy gets gifts from Chuck when he does very well in school. I'd LOVE some ideas.
We're at the end of our patience with Tyler. And this child cannot work well in classroom setting. He has to sit separate from everyone to get anything done. But his teacher insisted that while he seemed frustrated by learning, he was VERY respectful and not disruptive. He just can't pay attention and grasp directions and concepts. This part is just so very similar to Jimmy. He was placed in a corner by himself. Teacher said he was a sweet little boy that didn't cause problems, but had to be separated so she could work with him separately. My son is also very respectful, polite, etc., but there was an obvious problem when he couldn't concentrate. He said, just a few days before his appointment with the doctor, that he tries to concentrate, but that the teacher skips words. He said he knows she doesn't skip words, but he here's her skip words. That was it for me. I knew I made the right decision to take him to the doctor.
I also was hesitant about medication, and I was fighting his dad (because he didn't want his son on meds). I felt though that I would be doing him an injustice if I didn't allow him at least a chance of normal school life. The first day he took the meds, I received a call from his teacher that he lost his vision for a brief time. That is one of the side effects. When he came home from school I was so worried and I couldn't believe the change in him. He was the most agreeable child I have ever seen. Couldn't believe my son was actually not arguing back with us, did his homework without arguing, at dinner without arguing, bathed without arguing, it was a miracle. It has been a constant improvement since then. He has done phenominal in school, at home. He can even now sit down and draw pictures. Before drawing was just not done by him. He even won a recent drawing contest and was recognized at our local mall. He is quite the drawer also. He has some very good talent that was disquised by his inability to concentrate.
I know I'm going on and on, but I'm just passionate about the changes my son has made and I can't help but cry when I think about the fact that I have let his father hold me back from getting the help he has needed since he was 3, whenI first noticed he had problems.
He is on Adderrall and started at 5mg ER. He is now up to 25mg and is probably going up to 30mg - seems to be his top off point. Each time they raise his medication, he seems to do even that much better in school.
There was one side effect that has seemed to have stopped, he was obsessive compulsive when it came to cleaning his room, folding his clothes - which was good while it lasted, because now his room is trashed and doesn't give it a second look.
Becky, just don't rule out medication. Also, what we do when it comes to his and everyone's dietary intake, we cut back on sugar. I give him Splendid to sugar his cereal. We snacks, cereal, juices, etc. that have less than 10 grams of sugar. That has also seemed to have help a few people in our family.
Okay, I've gone on enough here. Good Luck, Hugs, Marilyn
CL-Entrepreneurial Women
Business Impressions, LLC
I know that sounds funny, but basically their behavior is out of their control, they are unable to tell you why they did something. It's as if something else has taken over their bodies. Only medication will be able to help them and I think that medication will definitly make him feel better about himself. I've taken it too, because I wanted to see what it feels like and because I had ADD, I knew it would take the right effect. I probably never worked so hard and concentrated in my life, that I did while on the medication. I was absolutely concentrated and not so distracted and irritable.
Alex and I have a routine that is very important.
Alex and I have every day discussions regarding her ADD and the medications. I do alot more than just medicate and it all helps work well together. Talking is the most important. Getting them to open up their feelings. Sitting with them 30 minutes a day and find out how things went and letting them get it off their chests.
Other stuff:
For instance. No sugar, or any chemical substitutes. No white bread, No soft drinks, kool-aid, only 100% fruit juice. No fast food, or fatty foods, or anything that is TV Dinner like. Only fresh fruit and vegetables but not all kinds either. Some fruits and vege's are bad for the ADD, some are an excellent source. Fish and meat, but nothing breaded or made in oil. If you use a little oil, then only olive oil. The list goes on and on and on. I can send you a list of everything. I have it written on my refrigerator. We also keep her on this diet, because of the lack of appetite and the stomach problems she gets (lots of stomach aches from the medication). Breakfast is the most important in the morning. Special K is what I give mine and it helps her. Nothing with sugar again, very important. The sugar will put Tyler in a high and then he will sink down extrememly quickly.
Depressions: The reason most children are depressed is because the medication is not being given regularly. It must always be given the same amount 7 days a week. If you set it off during vacation or wkends, or forget to give it in the afternoon for homework; or morning, the child tends to get extremely emotional and depressed. This of course also happens if you are giving the medication, but don't have a diet. It also can happen if your child is growing and the medication needs to be increased. If it's not increased and you start noticing a change in the behavior again, then you will have to discuss this with your doctor. The amount of medication is VERY important. Even a 1/4 of a tablet can make a huge difference. If given to much or to little, it won't work. That sounds strange, but it's true. ADD children, are 90% very special and gifted children. Very creative and some of the most famous people in our life time had ADD. For instance, Einstein (who didn't excel in school, because he couldn't) and Churchill.
Being a parent of a child with ADD or AHDD can be extremely difficult. Especially if you don't have it. It's difficult for you to understand what it is like to live that way. I know what it's like, that is why I decided to medicate my child afterall. It's an awful feeling of forgetting things, emotional traumas, wanting to break or hurt things because you just feel like it, but you don't know why you do it. Hearing a thousand different noises, even the drop of a pin, because your brain can't filter. The list goes on and on and on. She is thankful to me for it and she is a happier child.
I use Ritalin on Alex.
Another thing. The aggression they feel needs to come out. That is why Karate, or something to that effect is important for them to get rid of the rage and energy they have sometimes. I have a punshing bag in my garage and Alex and I will box and kick box the punshing bag with music to releave our frustrations. It's an excellent way to keep fit and a great way to get our your anger. Sometimes we just laugh and the stuff we yell and say to it, but we always feel much better afterwards.
Another unhealthy thing for a child with ADD is computer games, video games, and TV. I have to read up again on why that is, but has something to do with distraction and not wanting to do other things like socialize, play and use the imagination.
I have loads of books on the subject. Some better than others; like all info. Did a lot of research, etc. But basically, it all says the same thing. So if you want more info on it let me know and I can send it.
Thank you for sharing all of that. It really opened my mind to the option of medication. Could you send me the diet that you have for your daughters? I would love to compare it to what I have.
Thanks Lori
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