I totally understand how you feel. "Part of me wants to say: ‘why don’t you take a walk in my shoes one day, have your entire life ripped apart, and put the pieces back together, and then we’ll discuss’." OMG - no one could understand unless they did walk in your shoes.
It seems that the value of these friends is that you do have a history with them and they are close by and can do some fun things. If you can keep them for fun activities that is great and if not then bye bye so to speak.
I think that you have to keep your private life private from them since you know they won't approve. While it would feel good to say what I quoted above, it would only make you look worse since they already do not comprehend and have judged you with the crap about the affair (how painfully unfair to you - I am so sorry you had to hear that on top of everything else!)
So for now I would keep the distance and know that in the end the whole thing will come full circle and you do not need to explain yourself or gather their further approval/validation. Later on there will be new beginnings and new times where you might want to have them for a social outlet.
I think that IS a very nice friend - and for that she gets to stay a good friend - but the others - they get put to the back burner and you only do things that are very fun for you with them - but not at all if you don't want to. But you never know if they would be good in the future - maybe yes maybe no?
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have your entire life ripped apart, and put the pieces back together
I guess my answer is that we all put the pieces back together differently.
I'm sorry they didn't share your
I totally understand how you feel. "Part of me wants to say: ‘why don’t you take a walk in my shoes one day, have your entire life ripped apart, and put the pieces back together, and then we’ll discuss’." OMG - no one could understand unless they did walk in your shoes.
It seems that the value of these friends is that you do have a history with them and they are close by and can do some fun things. If you can keep them for fun activities that is great and if not then bye bye so to speak.
I think that you have to keep your private life private from them since you know they won't approve. While it would feel good to say what I quoted above, it would only make you look worse since they already do not comprehend and have judged you with the crap about the affair (how painfully unfair to you - I am so sorry you had to hear that on top of everything else!)
So for now I would keep the distance and know that in the end the whole thing will come full circle and you do not need to explain yourself or gather their further approval/validation. Later on there will be new beginnings and new times where you might want to have them for a social outlet.
Smile and be beautiful!
It was a different group of friend that trashed me.
I would never say that! LOL!!!
I am so sorry that you have to experience this.
April
I know sweetie.
Thank you, April.
I think that IS a very nice friend - and for that she gets to stay a good friend - but the others - they get put to the back burner and you only do things that are very fun for you with them - but not at all if you don't want to. But you never know if they would be good in the future - maybe yes maybe no?
Hopefully you and SEV will make all new friends!
I try to live by mine, not focus them on others
EXACTLY!!!
LOL!!!
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