I am soooo late responding and I read this the other day and wanted to but got caught up with my own paperwork hell over here. I completely relate to what you are going through. We are not a blended family like you are since it is just my DS and SYB and I moving in and now buying a house together but I have gotten the "looks" consistently from people especially now that we are talking about buying a house. Even my Dad who is totally liberal asked "what is the five year plan between you two?" to which I responded " it isnt five years Dad. it is a forever plan at this point." He congratulated me and isnt stuck on the idea of marriage but he knows that I have been through the wringer before and am hesitant to go the marriage route again. Funny enough I feel like the people who are giving me the biggest "looks" are those who I know through prior conversations with them are NOT happy married. I am totally happy with SYB and so a part of me wants to just keep things as is. We have talked about engagement and he actually said to me with my face in his hands this week "I so want to marry you one day you know" Our hearts are in the right place and we are al happy and healthy. If people cant be happy for that then thy are just looking for a distraction from something going on in their lives I think!! You should be on top of the moon MOON! We are all so happy for you...
Oh Moon I'm sorry you had such a terrible experience in the past. Aren't people strange. Surely they must wonder why a "friend" would leave a supposedly fantastic guy .... obviously something was wrong! And I'm like you I haven't run around telling all & sundry about all the reasons for me leaving dh. I'm only recently separated so I haven't had anything exciting to tell my married friends yet so I can't help on that matter. However I am puzzled by them being shocked about you moving in together. *I* lived with my dh before we were married 22 years ago. Most of my married friends lived with their dh's before marriage. To me that's more normal that not moving in together until after marriage!!
I hope they get better Moon - there are some great posts here - and I think you and SEV are really doing good with blending and considering the kids and his DD with special needs. I feel that you are a very special blended family and are doing what you need to do for the best of all and I have always thought of you as a patient family oriented mom. There is no way an outsider who has not experienced half of what we have could really know enough to pass any judgment. So keep on doing good and reporting!
How has the move been? Is everyone settling in SEV's house okay? I always like to hear stories about blending - because we don't hear too much of that around here - and it is important to everyone!! Please keep us posted as you progress!!
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I completely relate to what you are going through. We are not a blended family like you are since it is just my DS and SYB and I moving in and now buying a house together but I have gotten the "looks" consistently from people especially now that we are talking about buying a house. Even my Dad who is totally liberal asked "what is the five year plan between you two?" to which I responded " it isnt five years Dad. it is a forever plan at this point." He congratulated me and isnt stuck on the idea of marriage but he knows that I have been through the wringer before and am hesitant to go the marriage route again.
Funny enough I feel like the people who are giving me the biggest "looks" are those who I know through prior conversations with them are NOT happy married. I am totally happy with SYB and so a part of me wants to just keep things as is. We have talked about engagement and he actually said to me with my face in his hands this week "I so want to marry you one day you know"
Our hearts are in the right place and we are al happy and healthy. If people cant be happy for that then thy are just looking for a distraction from something going on in their lives I think!!
You should be on top of the moon MOON!
We are all so happy for you...
Thank you for your words of encouragement, as well as sharing your experience with this.
I agree - and I think West said it very well, our married friends can't imagine the obstacles we face each day.
I like what your friend said, i.e. she does not have to agree but will support you.
Now "support" usually means that the person agrees with what you said or are doing.
Great points all around - as usual!
Moon - you've gotten sooooo much good advice from the others here!
I'm only recently separated so I haven't had anything exciting to tell my married friends yet so I can't help on that matter. However I am puzzled by them being shocked about you moving in together. *I* lived with my dh before we were married 22 years ago. Most of my married friends lived with their dh's before marriage. To me that's more normal that not moving in together until after marriage!!
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I hope they get better Moon - there are some great posts here - and I think you and SEV are really doing good with blending and considering the kids and his DD with special needs. I feel that you are a very special blended family and are doing what you need to do for the best of all and I have always thought of you as a patient family oriented mom. There is no way an outsider who has not experienced half of what we have could really know enough to pass any judgment. So keep on doing good and reporting!
How has the move been? Is everyone settling in SEV's house okay? I always like to hear stories about blending - because we don't hear too much of that around here - and it is important to everyone!! Please keep us posted as you progress!!
Pages