may I vent please?
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| Wed, 05-11-2005 - 2:07pm |
Ok, I feel like I'm at a good place in my life. I am doing so many things that I love and are fulfilling. My kids are coming along well. I'm good at my job and it's good for my graduate work. I'm smart, accomplished, and I am a good friend. I'm responsible, I hold down a full time job and pay my bills and take good care of my family. I am more beautiful than I've ever been, and in better health.
Now the part I hate. I hate men at this moment. Some of them act like they're god's gift even when they're NOT flirting...they just swagger like neanderthal IDIOTS! I'm so sick of them playing with my emotions for their own ego gratification. I can't think of one who has given me anything without a huge payback on my part, and almost all of them gave pretty much nothing. I pitched Grady's number today just so I wouldn't call him and tell him I HATE him and to never EVER think about calling me again.I don't want to give him even that satisfaction. I want him to think I never gave him another thought. If I do see him again, he's going to have some ice to melt and he's going to have to work hard.
It's tempting to wear a nun's habit or a wedding band or dress like a granny and hope none of them ever speak to me again. BUT, I think not. I think I'll just get more and MORE beautiful and fit and be MEAN to ALL of them!!!

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>>I've had 4 men walk through here today being idiots, calling me a "chick" telling me they "like my smile, come on smile" and thinking they're just "good old boys"...like I'm supposed to fall at their feet. >>
They are just being playful and they can see the sadness on you, try to have a more positive attitude and be more grateful - better things come with positive energy. I think you have raw nerve because you have gotten your hopes up about Grady and he didn't call.
I know that is very disappointing when you want someone to call and they don't. But I think you are taking it too personally - it is not you it is him.
Maybe he was only meant to be in your life for one day - to show you that you can be attractive to someone and engage in great conversation. There is a reason for all of this and it will be apparent in time.
Ok, I just looked at your username. I have to laugh. I came back from my almost-broke-down-and-cried-in-front-of-coworkers lunch and said "I NEED CHOCOLATE"
Yes - you are the first up for it because you have truly been through the ringer and it sucks to lose a relationship for sure, even when it is the right thing to do for you. It sounds like you handled the work thing quite well today - good going!!
Candi is second for sure because of disappointment in so many - first Trav then the guy online who is a mushroom grower, then the guy from church, then the one who is far away but wants to take her to breakfast and now the thing with Grady.
And of course our dear new friend chocoholic77 who just posted about her ex.
We all get disappointments from time to time - and things that cause flashbacks from bad marriages - and it is okay to cry - and cry hard.
We have to keep going - after all, there is no choice!! And tomorrow is a new day.
GOOD - I know that tactic has worked for me so many times.
Go to bed early - that helps, too.
<<<<>>>>
I'm leaving because I've had one too many "jump on Candi" fests.
Other people come on having a bad time, ready (every 6 months)to divorce their spouses or kill their ex's or whatever and I try to be supportive. But I come on with a bad day, my feelings hurt by someone not doing what they say they will do (which is perfectly logical to me) and I get told, basically, I'm an idiot.
I don't need this any more. No biggie, the board will go on it's insane way.
bye
I don't need someone to show me that, I KNOW that. I'm not unsure of myself, I'm griping about men not doing what they say they'll do.
And the men who were being jerks, one the Kenyan (married and still asking me out), and one a guy who is always that way, thinks he's the neatest thing since sliced bread. I work with 20 guys as well, and they're all pretty much swaggering types. One out of 20 maybe...bad percentage.
anyway, I think I'd do better to ask friends who know me on a daily basis for sympathy. They're not likely to tell me I'm going off the edge. They know I'm pretty even tempered. One really good friend, who sees me a lot, when I vented the same to her today said "you go girl!"
take care Judy
You are allowed to vent. I think you just need a vacation - to the beach, my dear.
I hope you try to see that Becky went out on a limb to be honest because she cares - that is not easy - it is easier to just tell someone what they want to hear. You know that from watching others struggle with this. I was admiring Becky's courage to do that for you.
Take some time for you - and then come back to us. We enjoy the lovely articles and poems you find. And your stories about your karate, Japanese, ESL and masters degree are very encouraging and inspiring for all of us.
I think you are in one of those low points in life where it is hard to be happy and the littlest things upset you. We all go through those. I was like that during the holidays this year. Somehow you have to turn that around on your own and start seeing the glass half full and the good things.
I think you will feel better in the morning -
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