Meeting My Daughter
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| Wed, 09-28-2005 - 11:53am |
Hello everyone, I'm new to this board and I have a question that I would love to get input from other single mothers who are dating. Here is a little background before I ask the question. I've been in a committed relationship with my boyfriend for three months. During the entire time he has never met my 5 year-old daughter and it has been my decision. I have never introduced my daughter to any of the men I have previously dated because I have felt that none of them were special enough for me to do so and I don't want to expose her to all my dates. With my boyfriend I feel the need to introduce her to him because he is very special to me and we are in love and I can see myself forming a life with him.
Now the question. Do any of you have certain time guidelines when you feel it is appropriate for your child/children to meet your new partner? Once you have decided that the time is right what is the best way to bring them together. Do you take them to the zoo or to kiddie funplace type of thing? any input would be appreciated.
Edited 9/28/2005 11:56 am ET ET by megan_nonymous

I don't have a specific time set, but I usually wait until the guy
and the time feels right. I would make the first meeting a very casual, no
pressure type of setting. The zoo, park may be good. Keep the atmosphere light,
just act as you would if you were getting together with a girlfriend. If you're
uptight your daughter will sense it. You're right to keep her from meeting just anybody.
Best of luck to you.
Welcome!
Here is a previous discussion we had on this subject:
http://messageboards.ivillage.com/n/mb/message.asp?webtag=iv-rlsolomother&msg=8386.1&ctx=0
If I felt compelled to introduce a man I was dating to DS, I would choose a brief and casual encounter that is fun for all of us - maybe to go out for pizza, for dinner at my house, etc. The zoo could be okay, too.
I would also make sure there was no PDF or anything - this is just a special friend of mommy for now.
Good luck with your decision!! I am sure you will get lots of good tips here and that thread I posted above is very good, too.
Personally I dont think 3 months is long enough. He and you both have to be seriously committed and I dont think any REAL relationship happens like that in 3 months when children are involved. When I was single I was seeing this guy for 3 months who had a 2 year old daughter - I never met her and he never met my kids.
It was sort of "common sense".
I would give it at least 8-12 months.