Sweetheart - NONE of those are reasons to stay in a relationship that is not giving you what you need OR deserve.
"Its like I know whats best, but am fearful of falling without the safety nets of stability and lots of friends yet. " - you have done it b4, you can do it again.
We hang around with people who are LIKE us, & have our priorities ... usually .. now, look at all the stuff you just wrote about his "woman". Are ANY of those something you want in your life? Or want as priorties of someone you love?
Rebecca, Mom to Averey, 2/8/00, Kibo, Sana & Zuri too!
Thanks for these words, Soonee- it is hard to accept because as in any relationship with good parts it's hard to let go of the feelings when its good. I guess like a junkie who gets really high sometimes but can also get really burned sometimes from the drug. You get addicted to the good stuff about it and start hocking all your furniture to get more lol.
You're right about how it would be hard to say good bye after he calls and says he done letting "her" call him. I sent an email this morning. I said "do it or don't do it but but don't do it for me anymore. Do it only if you believe she is a bad influence in YOUR life. I care about you and hope your life gets filled with healthy people who want good things FOR you not from you. Don't end any ties to anyone
Pac, it is NEVER easy to walk away from someone you love even if you know it is for the best. I know that firsthand. You are strong and kudos to you about remembering that our kids have to be first priority.
You are such a kind and giving person. You deserve peace and happiness. Don't settle for less than that. ((((HUGS)))) Steph
Thanks Steph..I am truly living the One Day at a Time mantra right now. I'm OK.. it's just that this is the first relationship in my life that I ever feel so hard in love and then felt I should end. Almost all relationship before I had fallen out of love so it was so much easier.
I guess that is the hardest part. You find someone who you love but there are parts that don't mesh with who you are fundamentally- with you it is your daughters because they are a part of you- and for me it is mostly BE's need to get his emptiness filled through "partying" and enabling people. I have finally been able to separate the issue- it's not that I love him less- it's that I don't love or even like his issues. And I'm finding that his issues effect me and DD even if I try to not let them. I could sit here and say that for example broomhilda should not threaten me because she is just a symptom of his need to enable and rescue..she is just one of many things that fills a void in him, she is of no romantic interest anymore. But try as I may it still does get to me. And to be fair- I just have to say that is the truth and I can't change that.
As for a long term relationship, I will need someone who is in with both feet and satisfied being in it 100 percent- not out there needing to fill voids elsewhere. I think you
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Rebecca, Mom to Averey, 2/8/00, Kibo, Sana & Zuri too!
Sweetheart - NONE of those are reasons to stay in a relationship that is not giving you what you need OR deserve.
"Its like I know whats best, but am fearful of falling without the safety nets of stability and lots of friends yet. " - you have done it b4, you can do it again.
Rebecca, Mom to Averey, 2/8/00, Kibo, Sana & Zuri too!
Thanks for these words, Soonee- it is hard to accept because as in any relationship with good parts it's hard to let go of the feelings when its good. I guess like a junkie who gets really high sometimes but can also get really burned sometimes from the drug. You get addicted to the good stuff about it and start hocking all your furniture to get more lol.
You're right about how it would be hard to say good bye after he calls and says he done letting "her" call him. I sent an email this morning. I said "do it or don't do it but but don't do it for me anymore. Do it only if you believe she is a bad influence in YOUR life. I care about you and hope your life gets filled with healthy people who want good things FOR you not from you. Don't end any ties to anyone
Pac, it is NEVER easy to walk away from someone you love even if you know it is for the best. I know that firsthand. You are strong and kudos to you about remembering that our kids have to be first priority.
You are such a kind and giving person. You deserve peace and happiness. Don't settle for less than that. ((((HUGS))))
Steph
Thanks Steph..I am truly living the One Day at a Time mantra right now. I'm OK.. it's just that this is the first relationship in my life that I ever feel so hard in love and then felt I should end. Almost all relationship before I had fallen out of love so it was so much easier.
thanks for the support!
Pacific - our situations are different but some of the feelings you are currently experiencing are very similar. I feel it is time for me to let
Thanks for this post, Rosecoloured.
I guess that is the hardest part. You find someone who you love but there are parts that don't mesh with who you are fundamentally- with you it is your daughters because they are a part of you- and for me it is mostly BE's need to get his emptiness filled through "partying" and enabling people. I have finally been able to separate the issue- it's not that I love him less- it's that I don't love or even like his issues. And I'm finding that his issues effect me and DD even if I try to not let them. I could sit here and say that for example broomhilda should not threaten me because she is just a symptom of his need to enable and rescue..she is just one of many things that fills a void in him, she is of no romantic interest anymore. But try as I may it still does get to me. And to be fair- I just have to say that is the truth and I can't change that.
As for a long term relationship, I will need someone who is in with both feet and satisfied being in it 100 percent- not out there needing to fill voids elsewhere. I think you
Pages