Men's "pull away" mentality explained..

iVillage Member
Registered: 08-08-2007
Men's "pull away" mentality explained..
3
Tue, 08-26-2008 - 2:59pm

...in the interesting Quiz and article that follows.


It explains the cycle of a man's "rubber band" tendencies after a period of intimacy, and how we can react to it. I really liked the explanations, because it takes the sting out of not understanding this, so as to not take it personally.


~Pacific~
iVillage Member
Registered: 06-04-2004

I've always been glad I read the Mars/Venus books. They've taught me ALOT about when NOT to freak when some of those odd man/woman relationship difficulties show up. Funny that over the years, I think I've gained some Mars-ness to my own personality and in some areas, I am thinking like the man. Like this rubber band one... I tend to do it a bit myself. Like after a weekend away with Hiker, wallowing in togetherness and enjoying every minute... I also enjoy having some time to myself for awhile. I'm just thankful that we are both matching in that aspect, so neither he nor I do any "freaking out" if we don't immediately start missing each other after an intense time together.


I don't think I've ever had a relationship where I have been better matched. Either I get too clingy and needy

~shrimpy

"A man who wants something will find a way; a man who doesn't will find an excuse." ~Stephen Dolley Jr.

~<

iVillage Member
Registered: 08-08-2007

ITA!!


In fact I thought of you and Hiker when I was reading about how the rubber band effect is normal and how I know that you and Hiker don't freak out when it happens...it's a sign of confidance and acceptance and understanding in a solid relationship.


I think that when you understand that it's normal for space in a relationship (not cold, unresponsive shutting out space but reasonable breathing mental space and time away) it makes the time and space acceptable and even appreciated. Like you, I find myself wanting this just as much these days. I just like to have a day or so to re-gather my self, re-energize, do things on my own after a few solid days of closeness w/ BE. I cherish our time together bit I'm begining to really value the time in between too. It is a time to renew.. and understanding that people need this even in the helathiest and most passionate realtionships helps to allow for growth and trust.


~Pacific~
iVillage Member
Registered: 06-03-2008

neat article and interesting quiz.