Met a nice one...

iVillage Member
Registered: 10-09-2005
Met a nice one...
5
Sun, 07-27-2008 - 12:47pm

I've been on and off OLD for about a month. As you all may remember, Bikerguy and I were trying to figure out our relationship while contemplating dating others. I had been doing things with Nice Neighbor but he's not divorced yet an unlike my usual self, I decided that had no real future. So I thought I would be ok with just seeing Bikerguy now and again. But after some soul searching and time to myself, I've decided that is just not going to be enough for me.

So, back to OLD and POF which has never been a good site for me but it's free and I decided to at least try. That's were Lunch Date Dude (LLD)comes in. We talked for a few days on POF and decided to have lunch on Thursday. Had a great 2 hour lunch. Non-stop talking, laughter, a lot in common (he rides a motorcycle like I do which is huge for me) and very attractive. He's divorced, no kids (but loves them and is interested in hearing about mine) and is looking for long term relationship. So last night we got together and sat and talked until 2 in the morning. Very respectful of me (i.e. no groping or talk of jumping into bed). Just a lot of hand holding and kissing (which he is very good at!). And I came to the realization that I want more in life than an FWB. I want love and respect and companionship. Bikderguy doesn't want to fall in love again (he's told me this) but cares for me. And guess what, I realized that's not going to do for me. Not that I've necessarily found Mr. Right with LDD but I now know that it's someone like him that I want and deserve.

So now I have to actually sit down with Bikerguy and tell him. Tell him that I care for him and always will but that I want more and I know that he can't provide. I have never had to do this before...officially end it (except in my marriage and there was so much anger and pain it was easy). Bikerguy and I have no anger or issues, just no commitment on his part. And I'm unwilling to settle (yet again) for less than I deserve. We are in the same bike club together so I will still see him frequently and we ride with groups together so it will be interesting to see how this goes.

So, things have really turned for me in my personal growth. I know that I don't need a man but that I would like to fall in love again but if I don't, that will be fine too. My children are healthy and happy, I have a great job and friends and life is good!

Cat
Cat
iVillage Member
Registered: 10-07-2005
Sun, 07-27-2008 - 1:55pm

Cat,

I'm glad you had a great date! It's good to get out there and get some positive feedback that yes, we've still got it :P

As for Bikerguy, if you weren't really officially a couple, why do you have to sit him down and break it off?

"Admire what you DO have, and stop asking for what you don't." Ds-age 8


Photobucket
iVillage Member
Registered: 10-30-2004
Sun, 07-27-2008 - 2:11pm
That's great that you met LLD and things are going so well!!
iVillage Member
Registered: 05-13-2005
Sun, 07-27-2008 - 2:54pm

"And I came to the realization that I want more in life than an FWB. I want love and respect and companionship."

You have taken a huge step - and if you want this then you will find it.

I would just email BikerGuy a note and say that for right now you want to put your relationship on hold because you are seeking personal growth. It is what you want - not what he thinks about what you want - that matters.

iVillage Member
Registered: 03-26-2003
Sun, 07-27-2008 - 6:28pm
How awesome for you missy!!!!
 
iVillage Member
Registered: 10-09-2005
Sun, 07-27-2008 - 6:39pm

I think because we've been so back and forth about what we are to each other I feel like I need to make it official. But I think I like Westie's idea of emailing him. I just don't want to look like a coward after 16 months of being "friends" but I know that I will feel better about LLD when I've completely severed the ties with BG. And I know that my thoughts and words will be more clear if I carefully write it to BG. Plus I have no idea when I'll talk to him or see him again.

I think I'll sit down tonight and send him an email and get it done. I need to move on and have the courage to tell him so.

Thanks ladies for your kind words and support!

Cat
Cat