Mismatched education--does it matter?
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| Sun, 01-27-2008 - 8:09am |
I have been dating Mr. Wonderful for about a month, and I have known him as a friend for about 7 months. Our values are compatible, and we get along wonderfully. Everyone likes him because he is just so nice to people in general. He treats me and my girls extremely well, and I care deeply for him. He provides well and is a hard worker. He obviously is very skilled in his field. However, one thing that does not seem to be an issue now, I am worried about becoming an issue later--I have a graduate degree while he did not finish college. I am finding in our conversations that I am not really smarter than him, but I know more than he does because of all of my education (does that make sense?). He plays it off well.
I just read this article on eharmony about how a disparity in educational level could be a problem so now I am worried. My ex was brilliant and educated and then went crazy on me so I don't really want that either! Any experiences?

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Here's my scenario on this topic: I've been in Mensa since I was very young and had acceptance to Duke by the time I was in Jr. High, through a program based on SAT scores. I was in college at 15. Do I have a degree? Nope, still working on it at 28.
Real life anecdote: Good male friend who is very successful (went to Princeton, runs a company, etc.) is looking for women on E-harmony. His cut off is women with less than a bachelor's degree. I point out that he thinks I'm brilliant and I do not have the aforementioned degree...He is amazed.
So, a degree is what it is. Intelligence is something else. Common sense is a whole nother thing too ;) I would spend less time worrying about what is on the wall in his office. I'm the only female in my family without a degree....I'm also the only one that has a job other than being a wife. When visiting, they are rarely able to talk about anything other than children and laundry detergent, so I'm quite glad they have something nice to put on the resume they will never create.
I am also an example of someone who has done well with a "lower degree."
When I was young I had a passion for the culinary arts. I went to the best culinary school in the world and got an AOS degree, graduating 2nd in my class. That was as high as I could go back in those days for a degree. I got out of work and worked for some of the best chefs. Then specialized by going to a pastry school in Switzerland for pastry arts. I furthered my career all the time with extra classes that I took on vacation time with my own money - one was a pastry chef for the white house. I also pushed myself to compete and won gold medals. Before I left that career to stay home and take care of my son I was one of the top 10 in the country at that time - as evidenced by my making finalist on a panel of 10, as picked out of over 1000, to be on the US World Pastry Cup team.
After staying home with my son, I launched a very successful company and run my own business out of my house. I work with people with PhDs and have learned a lot. I have traveled a lot. I like to say that my return on investment for my education is far superior to many I know who have master's degrees who are not nearly so clever or entrepreneurial. I think it is all about what you do with what you have, your ambition, how you view yourself and your world, and what you like to do.
CityLife, if I were fortunate to be seated next to you at dinner, I can't imagine I'd settle for small talk when
I WANT to get on track and don't mind embarrassing myself to get there!
"People are fascinating, and learning something new through conversation is one of life's greatest pleasures!"
That was the best part about dating for me. Getting to know people and hearing their life stories, a male perspective on things. One of the things I really like about M is that he is so social, he's always striking up conversations with total strangers in restaurants, at the airport, wherever. We meet very cool people and learn some new things along the way.
QueenBun
Holy Cow, Judy!
I had no idea you did all this. The culinary arts, that is fantastic what you have done and seen and created! It just amazes me what I learn about the interesting and amazing contributers we have on the board!!
From this thread I learned how many accomplished women are here on this board.
I used to think that mismatched education were a problem.
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