Mismatched education--does it matter?
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| Sun, 01-27-2008 - 8:09am |
I have been dating Mr. Wonderful for about a month, and I have known him as a friend for about 7 months. Our values are compatible, and we get along wonderfully. Everyone likes him because he is just so nice to people in general. He treats me and my girls extremely well, and I care deeply for him. He provides well and is a hard worker. He obviously is very skilled in his field. However, one thing that does not seem to be an issue now, I am worried about becoming an issue later--I have a graduate degree while he did not finish college. I am finding in our conversations that I am not really smarter than him, but I know more than he does because of all of my education (does that make sense?). He plays it off well.
I just read this article on eharmony about how a disparity in educational level could be a problem so now I am worried. My ex was brilliant and educated and then went crazy on me so I don't really want that either! Any experiences?

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BINGO!
I have met
It's neat to read everyone's stories and thoughts on this topic!
For me, I think it matters only if it matters to the people involved. I agree that there should be some similarities and compatibilities, but there isn't any set rule about anyone's level of education getting along with other people of the same (or not).
I like my degrees, and I'm proud of them. But I also know that they're just "a piece of paper" too- and there is ALOT that can be said for simple experience in living life, and not living from a textbook. And so while I'm proud of my achievements, I'm also aware that they are not the end-all of learning or living.
So with me and my ex, he graduated high school, and went into the Army. No college degree- and found some closed doors once he got out of the military, as far as not having that piece of paper. So he kinda had a chip on his shoulder about that degree thing, and anyone having one. Unfortunately, I was one of "those people", as I had a graphic design degree and a nursing degree. Although my attitude is like I stated above, and never held anything against him about his lack of higher education (and respected him for his military training and the "education" he got through living all of that)- he resented me for simply having a degree- and being "one of those". Huh. So for us, it mattered. Because it mattered TO HIM.
With Hiker and I... we both have degrees (him with a Master's too), but that isn't what makes us work. What works for us has NOTHING to do with our education, though our attitude towards the importance of education helps- because that has a place in our
~shrimpy
"A man who wants something will find a way; a man who doesn't will find an excuse." ~Stephen Dolley Jr.
~<
Thank you all for your responses...they were so refreshing to read. I don't think he cares in the least. If I even needed to see a difference between intelligence and education, I have it in my home--my four year old IS smarter than me, but I am more educated. LOL
The more I think about this issue, the more I think perhaps I was just overthinking and trying to find an out. Maybe I am the "guy" in this relationship, but I have noticed that things have been going too well, and I am getting scared. He has been so mushy lately, and I have found myself backing off a bit. I was sick yesterday, and he noticed my backing off so he went and got me a neti pot (something we have joked about for a while) and dropped it off on my porch with a rose. After he left he texted me to look on my porch. At least he is reading me right (needing some space) and respects it completely. Ugh...sometimes I wish he would do something wrong! :)
Also, I was thinking since everyone has these nicknames, I will call him Neti since this has been an ongoing joke between us since he had a sinus infection, and I sold him on getting the Neti pot. But if you know what a Neti Pot is, then you won't think it is so cute so maybe I should think of something else.
I thought of this thread last night as I was contemplating my own situation.
April
Good for you, April, for opening up to other possibilities.
The roads were awful last night so we didn't end up meeting BUT we did talk for close to 2 hours on the phone last night!
April
Inquiring minds want to know.... how does one train a bull for bull riding events?
For the uninitiated to bull riding, I'll share what little I know about it.
Oddly he says they are very kind and gentle outside of the ring--that they are trained well enough that they know that they have a "job" to do and they do it--who knew!
April
Wow!
I'm sorry you didn't get to 'meet', but a 2 hour phone convo?
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