mismatched.com - article report for ALL

iVillage Member
Registered: 05-13-2005
mismatched.com - article report for ALL
2
Fri, 03-31-2006 - 11:21pm

Online dating report –from Wall Street Journal article titled mism@tched.com from Page One April 1, 2006. This is excellent reading - If you have an online subscription to the WSJ, just go to www.wsj.com and search on “dating” to find this entire article –It looks like you can find this on the front page today (Friday). I have read it and provide a little book report for you here.

About two million Americans have met their spouses online since Internet dating began a decade ago. The WSJ reports that now divorces are now starting.

It appears that what brings people together can also drive them apart according to many marriage counselors and divorce attorneys. The two biggees:
- wanting marriage so bad that you rush and are desperate – the people that are more serious about a relationship do tend to pay for a subscription but this can work both ways
- using email to create a fast and false sense of intimacy and fantasy; falling in love before meeting face to face

Some lawyers report that as many as one in five clients come from marriages that start on the Internet. And these are based on fantasy or desperation according to these attorneys. So we have to be careful not to create a fantasy in our heads – to keep eyes open and go slow.

Here is one anectode quoted from the WSJ article, “It took Carolyn Fellwock and Charlie Watson only 11 months to tie the knot after meeting on Yahoo Personals -- and three years more to call it quits. The couple's shared appreciation for movie nights and homemade Irish stew turned out to be no match for their bickering over how to discipline their kids from previous marriages or the best way to spend the family savings.”

One woman who was interviewed reported success because she used her therapist to screen all potential suitors.

It is interesting to note that to maintain its success rate, eHarmony says it has rejected 1.4 million applicants it deems not marriage material -- they are struggling with addiction, for example, or have more than three failed marriages under their belt.

I found this whole article to be very very good – hope I have listed the biggest lessons. After my 2 years online I have come up with a line, “guilty until proven innocent.”

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iVillage Member
Registered: 10-07-2005
Sat, 04-01-2006 - 11:47am

Interesting article, but not very surprising.


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iVillage Member
Registered: 02-08-2006
Sat, 04-01-2006 - 3:32pm

I agree with you, Alison, about guys wanting to meet right away. I've been signed up with 3 different internet dating sites for about a month. So far, I've chatted or emailed with about 8 guys, and I'd say within the first two emails, or the first couple of chats, they're ready to meet.

Although I haven't met any of them, part of me wonders if I'm wasting my time for holding back- a guy right in front of me- for instance, WorkGuy, if he asked for a date, I would undoubtedly accept, and I know as little about him as I do the online guys. Possibly less, in some cases. But yet I feel safer, simply because he's "in person".

That being said, there is a guy I've chatted with a LOT lately. I think he's potentially... something. I haven't said anything about him to you ladies, because I wasn't sure it was going to go anywhere, but we he's been the oppposite of the other internet dating guys as far as pushing for a meeting. We have had a couple of phone conversations, and he's expressed interest in meeting, but he isn't pushy about it. I'll post more on that later, (when I've decided which song to use, haha).

As far as people meeting online having a high divorce rate, I am not surprised, but I'm also not surprised because overall the divorce rate is so high. I agree that anyone who marries just to be married will find they rushed it, and probably didn't marry the right person.


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