Miss my Bikerguy...
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Miss my Bikerguy...
| Tue, 04-29-2008 - 11:11pm |
As some of you know, he's out of town working. Haven't heard from him yet this week (is it only Tuesday?) and probably won't. We have our kids this weekend and since he has his less than I have mine, I usually give him space to be with them. I'll be interested to see if he calls me over the weekend or at least expresses an interest in seeing me. I have vowed to lay low and see what happens. I want it to come from him so bad. My heart is hurting pretty bad since I'm not feeling that he cares much about me or us. I hope I'm wrong.
I know no one can say anything to help. I'm just feeling lonely tonight and trying to get through one day at a time.
Cat

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I will.
~~Tiny
I want
~Karen˙·٠•●♥Ƹ̵̡Ӝ
Hugs to you about all this, but really.... if you sent emails that didn't need a response- and the friend DID, then why take that as a sign that he isn't interested in you anymore just because he responded to the other one quickly?? Even YOU realize that yours wasn't asking for anything specific...
I don't respond to everything I get in email. I send things to Hiker and I don't always get a response back. I don't hear from him every night, and I don't hear from him all the time when he's on a trip. I don't call HIM all the time when I'm on a trip, either! But it's all OKAY.
Don't chuck it all just for a few days of noncommunication, IMO. Day by day... and do things you enjoy in the meantime. Spending a life with someone doesn't mean CONSTANT connection, does it?
In the same manner that we shouldn't jump into a relationship just because someone shows a bit of interest... we shouldn't jump OUT suddenly either- just because of a lull. Give it time!
~shrimpy
"A man who wants something will find a way; a man who doesn't will find an excuse." ~Stephen Dolley Jr.
~<
UGH - that is a horrible feeling I know. I am not sure what to say - only time will tell. I am hoping there is some way you can put him on the backburner and put your life and social life on the front burner.
Looks like everyone here has given great advice.
Damn... sorry to hear that.
Thank you so much for responding, Shrimps!!!
Spending a life with someone doesn't mean CONSTANT connection, does it?
I agree with you, Shrimps. However, Cat's situation is a little different only because some of the things her Bikerguy is not doing in return. In an earlier thread she was saying how he said he does not need communication with her during the week which is in contrast to how they used to be when he was living abd working near her. His not needing to communicate with her is OK for him but it might not be for her. I think I would feel the same way- without a hello, how are you doing or even a brief check in or good night call mid week I would feel disconnected.
So ya, I agree no couple need to be in constant contact. But Bikerguy seems to be less of a communicator and somewhat ok with distance (even emotionally) than Cat. She has to decide of she is OK with that...
SO how are you Shrimps? I was thinkin' bout ya today!
Both you and Shrimps are correct.
Okay Pacific, I agree too! You put it that way- as in a situation where there is a difference in communication frequency levels... one wants more touch-base time, and the other is okay with not-so-much... and neither one is WRONG in how much they want, just that it might not be a match if they can't figure out how to meet in the middle. I get that.
With Hiker and I, I guess we both match in our levels of touch-base-needs (what IS the right term for that? lol)... if a whole week went by and I didn't hear from him, I might feel upset, too. But a couple of days goes by, I'm not panicked at all (or growing seeds of doubt). It's just life. I know I get busy, I know he gets busy- so a few days might go by and it's fine. But yeah- a whole week never goes by. And although I still leave it up to him to do the calling most of the time, I also call him at times, too. If I want to hear what he's up to, I call. But I just don't call him EVERY day and NO WAY would it be several times a day! It would bug me if he called me several times a day, too (again- this is why we match).
And I remember Cat having a talk with Bikerguy about wanting to hear from him more often, and that it makes her feel good. (Cat? didn't you have that talk with him? or did you just WANT to, but never did?) So if he is AWARE that she wants more touch-base time... and still doesn't do it, then yeah- that would mean he doesn't care as much. If he is unaware of it, then he can't be at fault for anything. The level of time spent calling (or not) is just who he is and he's okay with that level. But if he knows that calling to say hello speaks volumes as one of Cat's love languages... hopefully he can step up and show that. Even if that calling seems meaningless to him.
I do hope things work out for Cat and Bikerguy... it's just that I don't want her to think "next!" just because the case might be that he's simply BUSY for a short while. I know I have ALOT going on in my life right now, and Hiker hasnt been getting too much of my time, nor the best of me... but hopefully the bumps will pass and things can get back to the fun again. But in the meantime, I'm thankful he isn't sitting over there at his house analyzing my every move and wondering what I am up to.
~shrimpy, simply stressed
~shrimpy
"A man who wants something will find a way; a man who doesn't will find an excuse." ~Stephen Dolley Jr.
~<
I'm sorry you're stressed, Shrimpy! Is everything OK?
I do hope things work out for Cat and Bikerguy... it's just that I don't want her to think "next!" just because the case might be that he's simply BUSY for a short while.
This is a good point. I think if Cat and Bikerguy talk about their needs and if both are receptive to each other then it's OK to call off the dogs...maybe things will be fine :o)
Yes, those love languages! Bikerguy seems to be unphased by the communication area and it might help him to understand that she needs it (even if just as you said it seems silly to hiom..he might at least see that it means a lot to her) and a compromise can be made.
The long distance thing is tough. I'm sure it takes adjustments and patience- Cat-
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