mom input on J

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iVillage Member
Registered: 07-03-2003
mom input on J
3
Sat, 05-13-2006 - 3:32pm
So J has already met my son, my family, I know it's too fast, It's been a few weeks, and I realize why my mom has her caution lights...she's afraid Damian would be attached to J, if it didn't work out...and it's so soon to even tell if it's long-term...she feels that at the rate I'm going in a few more weeks she might be hearing i'm going off with J....well even though I understand that, this is the first time any guy has had this much closeness to all of my family, and it's just that I feel so different with him, we are so alike, in all the right areas, we are beginning to fall in love with eachother...and i know it's so soon, but it just feels like i already knew him, since day one we clicked instantly, I've never felt like this with anyone, and he tells me how he feels...and we're on the same page....so even my dad hasnt' said anything negative, and usually he'll say something, even my mom had nothing negative to say about J, and they usually say all of the things they don't like without them even meeting them....so if nothing negative, except for moving too fast, why can't i take that risk? Don't you guys think?? It just feels so right, maybe this is it....and it's not like I took the risk with just any guy, this is the first time...so...what do you guys think?

 

iVillage Member
Registered: 10-07-2005
Sat, 05-13-2006 - 7:18pm

Well, I'm not sure what the risk is?


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iVillage Member
Registered: 05-13-2005
Sat, 05-13-2006 - 7:50pm

I think you just have to spend time with J - maybe without Damian because you need to get to know J by yourself and you don't want Damian to get too attached. I would not tell your family any more - just enjoy for now - and tell them you are taking your time to be sure.

It is great that you click and J sounds nice so far - you just have to see what happens over time - if his actions show he is that into you with calling and seeing you and doing nice things for you.

Keep us posted!!

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iVillage Member
Registered: 06-30-2003
Mon, 05-15-2006 - 11:32am

If you are just starting a new relationship with J and are still in the getting-to-know-you phase, I would keep my son out of the relationship as much as possible. With my current boyfriend, I didn't introduce my son to him until we had known each other for 6 or 7 months. I chose to wait because I know myself. Life is all rosy in the first 6 to 7 months of a dating relationship (for me). It takes me that long to see where things are headed. After he passed the honeymoon period, then he met my son.

After dating for over a year, I still like to keep things separated. I have my love life and my son has his family life with me. Two separate relationships, until we marry each other.