I've been a long time lurker for years, and since you asked, I don't think your that "bad" but I think your marriage scared you off of relationships. I think as long as you continue seeing "lawn boy" for sex, you are not going to be truly open to a relationship. Men will sense something is off and back away from you or you will be overly critical and not want them. Online dating makes it easy to fall into this pattern, both men and women know there's almost an unlimited supply of dates so more so with online dating, both men and women in general are too quick to not give people a chance. But to break it off at the littlest sign. Cause you know there's always a next one. Of course a man needs to have a job and be responsible. I was in a very very bad marriage too for many years. I did the online thing for a few months only went on one date. THat was my experience, people are too quick to move onto the next one. I've been with my BF for one year, and when I met him, he was twice divorced, two kids, two different mothers, filed recent bankrupcty, on workman's comp(=not working),renting a junky apartment, talked too much on our date and about himself(didn't give me a chance to talk), and took me on a very cheap date (like $10-15). Now he's got a good job,is rebuilding his credit, is loving, generous,considerate, and we talk equally, and he's everything I could ever want. I met him in person, had strong chemistry and was willing to give it a while to see what happened. So my unsolicitied, unwanted advice from a stanger is break if off with lawn boy, and give men more of a chance, and relax your expectations/standards just a little.
Hi- thanks for chiming in. Some of what you say i somewhat agree with, or see where it may look like that i guess. Am i scared off of relationships b/c of my X? I dont think so. I would happily be in one, if one came along that I wanted. A year ago? No. But this Feb will be 3 yrs since he has been out, so in the past year or so, I feel like i COULD be "there", if i wanted one - or like I said - if "the" one came along. BUT, i am in no way begging or wishing for it to happen. I am very content with where I am. I love my life with my dd, my independence to come & go as I please, & to live life peacefully & in "our" own way (myself & dd) w/o anyone else to worry about. Would i wish it away o RUN away
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Hi- thanks for chiming in. Some of what you say i somewhat agree with, or see where it may look like that i guess. Am i scared off of relationships b/c of my X? I dont think so. I would happily be in one, if one came along that I wanted. A year ago? No. But this Feb will be 3 yrs since he has been out, so in the past year or so, I feel like i COULD be "there", if i wanted one - or like I said - if "the" one came along. BUT, i am in no way begging or wishing for it to happen. I am very content with where I am. I love my life with my dd, my independence to come & go as I please, & to live life peacefully & in "our" own way (myself & dd) w/o anyone else to worry about. Would i wish it away o RUN away
Pages