the most recent "talk" with MM
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| Sat, 10-18-2008 - 6:29am |
i feel kinda sad but i'll be alright. I had a great time at meetup. Danced, played pool, many laughs. I could sense that MM had backed off but we still hung out. So i felt like maybe he and i needed another "talk" about being back in the friend zone. But i was gonna leave that up to him and not force it.
When it came time to leave, he walked me to my car and there was that moment of pause so i said, "are we back in the friend zone?" I'm glad we talked. This is kinda what he said, he doesn't take the fact that i'm a single mom lightly. And i guess he feels bad about how much trouble i have to go through to get a sitter and go out, etc. And he said "if we take this to the next level, i'm going to want to see you more..." but that's not possible with work and the children. So that's why he decided to back offf....
I told him, i'm cool with being friends. that we get along great that i don't want to lose a friend and don't want him to feel awkward around me. He said he didn't feel awkward but sensed i was holding back. I don't know what he thought i wasn't saying but i told him how i was going to stop overthinking, etc. I said, sure i'll still be the girl with a crush but we're cool. And i went to give him a hug. The hug lingered and felt good. I wanted him to kiss me.... and he looked like he wanted to kiss me, but we didn't. We kept it on the friend level.
then he sent me a text after i left saying "for what it's worth, i like you a lot." and something about how he doesn't take my being a "single mom lightly"...
kinda sad isnt' it...
But my gut says, if he was really "into" me, all this wouldnt matter and he would have said, "f it, i'll make it work, etc"... he was thinking far more long term than i usually do when i start dating a guy.. i guess that is to his credit... my text reply to him was "you are a good guy. i'm honored to remain your friend."
how do i feel? disappointed, sure. but i still gained a friend. And i have many other friends at meetup, too.
Loonybunny
Loonybunny

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But my gut says, if he was really "into" me, all this wouldnt matter and he would have said, "f it, i'll make it work, etc"..
You're absolutely right in that thinking.
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I totally agree Loony. Ok he might just be an overly cautious super nice guy, but if he doesn't want you THAT much it's not worth it. Someone else will come along.
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Tracy
Hard to accept, Im sure. But whether or not its an "excuse", its valid.
I'm at least happy he was honest with me... and he's not going to ghost or treat me weird. seeing him made it hard to keep him in the friend zone... but now that we've cleared the air, i think it will get easier. at least now i don't feel like we are trying to hide something from the whole group... i can give him big hugs like everyone else. So i can go to the meetup on sunday without screwy thoughts. and he doesn't see me as a love sick puppy or something.
okay, an itty part of me hopes he'll reconsider but i have to let that go. And like HJNTIY book says, i don't have to do anything to manipulate or convince anyone to date me. The ones that are interested will flock to me....
He did you a favor!!
"and he's not going to ghost or treat me weird."
Ok- just to caution you on this one... he MAY still do that to you, so be prepared. He may say he wants to be friends, but not feel comfortable with it in truth if he feels that you're still "into" him. Especially if he DOES find someone else in the meetup group that he's interested in.
"And i guess he feels bad about how much trouble i have to go through to get a sitter and go out, etc. And he said "if we take this to the next level, i'm going to want to see you more..." but that's not possible with work and the children. So that's why he decided to back offf..."
Sitter Shmitter! It's an excuse and you know it. Leave this one behind and keep looking.
"But my gut says, if he was really "into" me, all this wouldnt matter and he would have said, "f it, i'll make it work, etc"..
Whew, I'm out a couple of days and BAM!
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