Mothers Day Advice

iVillage Member
Registered: 04-14-2008
Mothers Day Advice
35
Fri, 05-02-2008 - 12:05pm

I need some advice on how to handle this coming Mothers Day.


I received the following from the X:


"I expect a Mother's Day card from you this year as well as one from the kids."


The back ground:


The divorce has been final for two whole weeks. The separation/divorce battle lasted three years. The X by court order has had her visitation reduced to supervised email. This occurred because of on going emotional, verbal and physical abuse of the children. The abuse is due in large part to her on going, untreated/under treated/refusal of treatment,

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iVillage Member
Registered: 04-14-2008
Fri, 05-02-2008 - 4:41pm

Thanks Rebecca, I am 99% certain I will just ignore the whole thing. The only reason I even brought it up with the kids was to keep the peace.


If/when she makes an issue of not getting a card I may

iVillage Member
Registered: 11-25-2007
Fri, 05-02-2008 - 7:46pm

omg - no way shud you respond and no way do you have to do what she says.

mom_uk2socal - Mom to DS22, DS19, DD16

iVillage Member
Registered: 04-30-2008
Fri, 05-02-2008 - 11:10pm

iVillage Member
Registered: 06-21-2007
Sat, 05-03-2008 - 1:48am

Just read the initial post here.


Your protective order should, and apparently does, bar any harassing communication. So per the law, you don't have to acknowledge or tolerate it.


My concern with this post is that you have a legal order that basically exempts/bars you from catering to this person. You need to consider the fact that you have been worried enough about the ex's wants that you posted here asking us what to do. Stop it. Stop it right now. You have a free pass to stop per the PO. That's a big part of what those are for by the way.


The choices she made put her in the position she is in. It is no more your responsibility to make sure she has a good Mother's Day as it is mine or any other person. You know what? If you have to harass people into acknowledging you as a mother when there are commercials blaring about it, the issue isn't with the other people....Will she figure that out? Probably not. Is it your job to make her learn a lesson? Nope.


You can't change this person and I doubt you can make it better. It's up to her and it doesn't sound like she's learned a thing through this process.

iVillage Member
Registered: 06-21-2007
Sat, 05-03-2008 - 1:57am

I'm quoting this part:


"I am conflicted here.

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