my date last friday
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| Tue, 04-24-2007 - 12:59pm |
Ok, so no word from Mr. S (aka GREAT Date). We exchanged a few emails but he hasn't called or scheduled anything so NEXT! It still boggles my mind that you can have a great date like that and have it go south but I'm still learning :)
So I had a date last Friday night and I didn't really want to go. I had cancelled on him twice and was kind of putting it off because he has a very cheesy sense of humor. Plus, he had gotten kind of babyish about me cancelling and gave a guilt trip...but I went anyway and we met up for coffee.
He was very attractive and tall (love that) so my attitude changed a bit. We started talking but there was no spark what so ever. He is also one of those people who makes a lot of faces when they talk...kinda bugs me. It wasn't bad but it wasn't great so I decided to leave as soon as there was a break in conversation. We lingered outside a bit and I gave him the hug with the pat but I could tell he wanted to continue the evening but I cut it short. I left and met up with my girlfriends for drinks and had a blast.
He called on Sunday but I had just gotten my girls back so I didn't return the call. Yesterday he messaged me on Yahoo and I told him straight out that there didn't seem to be any spark and nothing "there". He pretty much said he wanted to give it another try but I am BAD at saying no so I need advice. I want to flat out say no because its kind of a waste of time but should I give him another chance and see how it goes or should I trust my instincts and risk his hurt feelings?? Oh, and how do I do that??
Dating is for the birds! I NEVER dated and I had no idea it was this weird, uncomfortable and confusing!!

Well, I am going to be new to the whole "dating" thing myself, but from things I have read it seems that a second try might be worth it. You already told him you didnt think it clicked, so he would know going into it that it may end badly. I dont know, I guess if I were in his place I would hope for atleast one more attempt if I really dug the chick...LOL.
We put so much stock in first impressions, but when you think about it, arent first dates full of nerves and jitters, where you are struggling to find common ground. Maybe you could keep the date similar to the last, where you can make an exit if its not meshing again. I wouldnt worry about hurting his feelings, hes already aware of how you feel.
I am so glad everyone talks about these things, maybe I can be a bit more prepared when its me out there trying to navigate the dating waters.
--tj
Dating is for the birds is putting it mildly.
I think you should not waste your time on him based on what you say here. There are already too many things you don't like about his mannerisms. And that is okay because there are plenty of fish in the sea and you have plenty of time.
If there was nothing about him that totally turned you off, I might give him another chance. You have been completely honest with him as far as not feeling a spark, and that's awesome. First dates can be nerve-wracking for men too, and maybe he was nervous. After a seond date you might find that you like him more, or less, and that may make your decision to see him again or not easier to stick to.
If, however, you know his personality just isn't going to mesh with yours, then simply tell him "no, thanks.". You don't owe him any explanations, and providing one will only provide him an opportunity to argue with it, if he's so inclined.
Also, I know exactly what you mean about the Great Date Disappearance Act. I can not even tell you how many times this happened to me, so my only advice would be to not put too much stock into any one date (or three or four) and give everything time. That's the only true test.
Good luck, and keep us posted!
Moody, who thinks somewhere a magician is looking for all of the dates he made disappear
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