My daughter's father
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My daughter's father
| Wed, 04-25-2007 - 2:37am |
My daughter's father (my 1st XH) made contact with me today for the first time in 7 years!!! My daughter is 12. She has only seen or spoken to him 3x since she was 2 years old (when he left) and the last time when she was 5 he disappeared again. What do I do?!?
I blame the internet. He found me on myspace.com. I've only been on for about 2 months. My daughter actually asked me a few weeks ago if I could help her find him & if I thought he was


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JERK!!!
Did he say why he is trying to see her/contact her if he thinks she is not his?! I didnt get the impression that he pays child support...what does he want out of all this?
--tj
I think I would stop all contact with communication of this nature. It is too upsetting to you.
I think I would say that I welcome him at anytime to take the formal and legal path of DNA testing and financial support should he want it.
He is too unstable for being able to ADD anything to your situation. That is a shame. I hope you do not take it personally but realize that he is unable to be stable due to the drugs.
I completely agree with momofthree2100. I was also on the other end of this as a child. I always (and kinda still do) harbor feelings against my mother for keeping him from me. On the other hand, once I met him (also a drug addict) I realized I wasn't missing much and it closed off all the illusions I had created in my mind that he was this fairytale father.
Of course as a mother you'll be careful and maybe a supervised visit would be best?
In any case, good luck...stay strong! :)
I think that is important - to have a sort of answer or closure - but to me that would only be good when the child is old enough to realize it. That must have been so hard for you to deal with - to have the disappointment and anger that your mom kept him from you only to see what was really there. I am sorry for you. Maybe reading this thread will help you realize all your mom had to deal with too.
I think instances like these are hard for everyone - the child who gets so disappointed and is denied the simple love, time and attention that most fathers bring. And the mother who must deal with the load of raising a child alone and even dealing with the father being such a jerk.
Well, here's the latest. I got online when I got home today and the myspace IM was up. It said he had sent me an IM at 8:04 this morning. I saw he was online so I said. Are you there. We need to talk. IT WAS HIS WIFE. Boy was she a psycho. She told me I was messing up his life with my accusations (what accusations?!? the only thing I've asked of him is to tell me about his life so I can see that he's stable and not going to disappear on my daughter again.) And that if I wanted to discuss this I needed to go thru her. OMG let's just say
How old is your daughter? And how far do they live?
I think you should remove the myspace thing and not respond to any more emails or communication.
If he is questioning his paternity and his current wife is not open to having you all in her life you may have no worry.
You might want to notify the school so that they won't let anyone pick her up.
Thanks West for responding. My daughter is 12. They live in Ohio. I'm changing our home number tomorrow and will get it unlisted immediately. Have already removed myspace im from computer, however I don't know how to remove other stuff, like on peoplesearch.com etc.
I'm afraid if he's ignored, he won't give up until he gets a hold of her next.
I now
Ok, THAT changes everything!
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