My ex and my dd

iVillage Member
Registered: 10-30-2004
My ex and my dd
11
Wed, 04-23-2008 - 12:15pm

When my dd decided she wanted to live at her dad's fulltime I made sure to remind both of them that she has a dentist appointment at 4:00 Tuesday (yesterday).

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iVillage Member
Registered: 08-08-2007
In reply to: isysmoon
Wed, 04-23-2008 - 1:05pm

~Pacific~
iVillage Member
Registered: 10-30-2004
In reply to: isysmoon
Wed, 04-23-2008 - 1:09pm

He doesn't see these things as a priority.

iVillage Member
Registered: 08-08-2007
In reply to: isysmoon
Wed, 04-23-2008 - 1:18pm

This a valid and frustrating point! Any of us who have to share custody deal with it...and it sucks sometimes. When the ex has different priorities.


I get so angry. My ex is a slob and my DD has a room at his place but it is so horribly messy and awful she does not even sleep in that room. His place is so bad. I cringe even going there. Not like trash or anything but just lots and lots of clutter and mess. 100 percent contrast to my place and my priorities. But do I have the right to go in there and demand he keeps his place cleaner? I can't and that frusrates me.


Same goes for priorities about appointments just like with your ex. He does not care if she misses an appointment. He forgets to take her to ballet frequently. He is chronocally late picking her up from scouts...it goes on and on.


I imagine lots of us here on this board have to deal with the way the exs care for our kids..so different than us. But unless it is dangerous or abusive we just have to take it..or try and talk sense into them but that never works, in my experience.

~Pacific~
~Pacific~
iVillage Member
Registered: 12-27-2006
In reply to: isysmoon
Wed, 04-23-2008 - 5:52pm

Ugh......sorry he's being this way. You are correct not talking to him about it. I had to let some things go w/xdh and our kids, too. He obviously has his priorities mixed....

~~Tiny


You said you couldn't stand to see my heart broken...so when you broke it, did you close your eyes?

~Karen
˙·٠•●♥Ƹ̵̡&#1244
iVillage Member
Registered: 03-15-2004
In reply to: isysmoon
Wed, 04-23-2008 - 10:28pm
Im not sure I agree w/ the priority thing.

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iVillage Member
Registered: 08-08-2007
In reply to: isysmoon
Thu, 04-24-2008 - 12:49am

I agree- neglect or abuse in any form cannot be tolerated. I guess I was referring more to lifestyle differences..what is a priority (being on time, clean house, or not). Missing a doctor or dentist appointment out of laziness while

~Pacific~
iVillage Member
Registered: 10-30-2004
In reply to: isysmoon
Thu, 04-24-2008 - 6:06am

He didn't forget, he KNEW and had known two weeks ago.

iVillage Member
Registered: 08-08-2007
In reply to: isysmoon
Thu, 04-24-2008 - 5:07pm

He didn't forget, he KNEW and had known two weeks ago.

~Pacific~
iVillage Member
Registered: 10-30-2004
In reply to: isysmoon
Thu, 04-24-2008 - 6:01pm
I didn't think you were hijacking!!!
iVillage Member
Registered: 05-13-2005
In reply to: isysmoon
Thu, 04-24-2008 - 7:47pm

OMG - I totally validate your frustration. And I don't have a solution - other than the old saying if you want it done right you have to do it yourself.

On the flip side - is there ANYTHING he does actually LIKE to do that you can delegate to somehow make up for it? That little old trick can work for me.

"DS likes doing the math homework with you more because he says you are better."

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