my question of the week
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| Mon, 02-28-2005 - 3:18pm |
for myself as much as for anyone else...
WHAT DO YOU WANT IN A MAN/RELATIONSHIP?
Be specific. I'm not asking about general honesty, but what would that look like to you? For example...My list
I want someone who is willing to be responsible for his relationships with others, that would look like this: He is aware of people's feelings, and what affect he has on people by his actions. And he wants to make me happy.
I want someone who is a tiny bit more boring than my past bf's, someone who can handle the day to day. A few guys I know are custodial parents, for instance. They know about PTA meetings and ordering school t-shirts and annuals and paying for textbooks...and buying tennis shoes and underwear every 6 months. I want someone who "gets it" in those areas.
I want someone who is playful, who can change plans or do something spontaneously once in awhile, as long as it doesn't mess with someone else's plans too much.
I want someone who cares about people, someone who has a heart for helping people in some area. This would mean I don't want a CEO, but more like...hmmm... a teacher, or...something like that. A people person.
So, play off those examples...tell me what you're looking for. I may add, too.

I want my bf but with an open heart and the ability to commit to me (without the idea of moving away constantly nagging at him). Here are my reasons.
He has a big heart and is a nurturing personality. When I bump my head on his bed he says awww and rubs and kisses where I hit it.
He loves to learn and enjoys sharing what he knows. I have learned so much from him, and I'm always learning something new. He has inspired me to learn more myself and consequently, I read a lot more now than when I met him.
He is a wonderful parent. The fact that it is so important for him to be involved in his son's life may be the downfall of our relationship (if he moves away, or can't get over the depression about his son's moving away) but it's also one of the things I admire most about him. He is very good with my dd, the way he talks to her and plays with her, and also the way he keeps from letting her get too attached to him given the circumstances.
He takes great care of his body. He inspires me to do the same.
He knows what he wants. He can pick out a restaurant or a movie and doesn't have to know my opinion in order to make a decision. He respects/considers my opinion if I have one, but the fact is I don't usually care. My ex couldn't make a decision to save his life and this was a big problem in our relationship. Plus my bf makes good choices in restaurants and movies, and I like that it doesn't have to be a big deal every time we have to do something.
He loves to cuddle. I can't get enough of that. He's a great kisser. The sex is the best.
He has a close relationship with his family, but not too close.
He has a good career but isn't married to his career. He can stand on his own two feet and has never asked for me to help him out financially, even when he really needed help. He just won't ask me and I respect that.
This is why it would be hard to leave the relationship, if it's even up to me. He is so much of what I want. If I end up on my own again, I am going to be looking for him everywhere, which I guess means I will need a long time to get over him before I can go looking again.
If I could change a couple things about him, I would make him more interested in getting to know my mom. They didn't hit it off, but I know my mom regrets it now and would do that first meeting over if she could. I want to be with someone that is comfortable hanging out with my family. I think my bf has that potential if things go better next time he meets my mom. I just don't have proof of that yet. I want him to want me to meet his family. I think he's held off because of the situation and that he may move, but family is important to me and that doesn't mean just my family. He does not support organized religion, and I enjoy going to church, so that is one thing I might look for in the next relationship, but it's not at the top of the list.
1. I want a man I can respect.
2.
Kim
WHAT DO YOU WANT IN A MAN/RELATIONSHIP?
I want a best friend - someone I can enjoy talking with and laughing with. Someone who makes the bitter things in life more sweet and the fun things even more fun.
I want someone who is able to recognize and appreciate my strengths and talents as I do for him - maybe this is what you define as respect?
I want someone who wants to come home and who wants to call me for my opinion and who wants to be with me. He is independent but he would be lost without me and I without him.
I want someone I can count on - who is there for the important things. He believes in win-win solutions for life's challenges.
He can speak his mind when something bothers him - doesn't explode or hold it all in. He tells me what he likes - and what he doesn't.