My single world.........

Avatar for myprecioustwo
iVillage Member
Registered: 04-08-2003
My single world.........
30
Mon, 01-21-2008 - 10:04am

Ok, so it's been almost two weeks since I broke up with Nascar. A tough two weeks. At first I didn't miss him, because I was so angry, but as time goes by, I really miss him. It really sucks, because I know no matter how much I miss him, it doesn't change the fact that we just didn't fit with the whole kids thing. I could have somehow maybe have learned to deal with the other

Pages

iVillage Member
Registered: 05-13-2005
Mon, 01-21-2008 - 10:19am

Congrats on the dog!! They are wonderful!! Sorry to hear you miss the good of Nascar but your head is in a good place and you made a good decision and you have time.

We want more dog stories as they unfold. Sounds like this one settled in fast - and good with the cats already? And plays fetch - that is great!! Do the cats run and hide? Or just sort of stay out of the way?

iVillage Member
Registered: 12-28-2004
Mon, 01-21-2008 - 10:34am

First of all, has it really been two weeks?!? Cripes.

I think you are doing a good thing. Just sit back and take it easy. I've always heard when a person gets divorced they have to mourn the loss of the marriage, and I think that is also true with short relationships also. You have to let them go before you can move on to another although the time period is not as long I don't think. Sometimes it's a very short period, sometimes it's longer. Personally, I tend to make that time period longer just being the Scorpio that I am! Thinking what could have been possible if the other person would have changed just one thing. That kind of thinking will get you down if you let it.

And you have a new dog!!! That's tremendous. I'm glad you found one that suited you and your girls. They're just the best companionship, IMO. Did you name it Schnitzel? Can't wait to see a pic if you can.

iVillage Member
Registered: 08-10-2007
Mon, 01-21-2008 - 10:41am

The beginning is the hardest because you are missing the good things but good for you not giving in to that.

iVillage Member
Registered: 10-24-2006
Mon, 01-21-2008 - 10:43am

I'm sorry you're dealing with the demons that make us miss the good parts of exs ((hugs)) I hope that passes quickly, but completely agree the things you missed in him are not out of the orginary things that won't be found in the next lucky guy. You sound like you are in such a good place, your head is firmly attached and not up in the clouds and you know exactly what you want and exactly what you don't. Very excellent :)


And CONGRATULATIONS on the new dog!! What did you name her? My DS has been asking for a dog for the last 2 yrs, but our house would not accomodate (we have 2 cats) the kind of dog he wants (a big ol' lab or german shepherd) I can't wait to hear more about your new family addition!

Photobucket

 

Avatar for myprecioustwo
iVillage Member
Registered: 04-08-2003
Mon, 01-21-2008 - 11:49am

Her name is Carmen, but Nina

iVillage Member
Registered: 11-22-2006
Mon, 01-21-2008 - 12:14pm
I cant believe it has been two weeks either! Wow....
Carmen is so cute. Congrats and isnt having a dog wonderful? I dont know what I would do without mine. Sometimes I just hug him because it is simpler than hugging anyone else. Weird, huh? Dogs dont ask questions!!
I know you miss your ex but you did the right thing and you know that. Just hang on. I missed my ex too until I found someone who was so much better suited for all of us and then I got angry at the ex and just felt sorry for him for not addressing his issues. Take some time for yourself and your girls and know that there is a better guy out there and you just simply havent met him yet. It's true because it must be true, you know?
Also, just to share....I had sucha tough weekend with my son this weekend, I just wanted to lock him in his room forever. He is nine and apparently training to be a professional fibber. Then when I caught him in yet another fib he sassed me under his breath about how I hadnt washed his sheets yet. He has really been testing us all lately. I was so mad and had to work all day so the bf had to police him and made him do chores in his room. It worried me because my boy was being so sullen and difficult with him all day and all I could think was that my bf would give up on him and start seriously disliking him for his recent behavior and what would I do then. I had these paranoid thoughts yesterday. Almost all day. I finally fessed up my fears at night after my son went to sleep. My bf said " Of course I'll always love him. My mantra in tough times is "he is a part of her"...." So this is why it was worth breaking up with someone wrong for me, being lonely and missing him for the wrong reasons, and waiting for something and someone so much better. So worth it. I am still a bit paranoid this morning but mainly feeling lucky.
Seriously, whoever it is we all end up with has to be capable of seeing us through our kids WORST behavior and still loving us all. I put myself in his place sometimes and wonder how he does it really. I mean he doesnt have the memories I do of my little one being in his onesie and saying his first words and taking his first steps and saying funny things at 3. When all hope is lost in bad behavior I rely on those memories to tap into my unconditional love for him and our SO will only have our accounts of those times. I can only hope that my bf and I last forever and that this is "it" but with each day we spend as a family and especially during rough times, I have more and more respect for the stepparent and what their challenges are....it takes someone very special to fill those shoes. If your ex was having trouble with just day to day difficulties with your children, how would he do on a difficult week?
Have faith in better possibilities for all of you, ok?
Lilypie - Personal picture
iVillage Member
Registered: 05-13-2005
Mon, 01-21-2008 - 1:12pm
She is beautiful - love the color and the face - sounds like the perfect dog for you and your kids. Congrats!!!!
iVillage Member
Registered: 08-08-2007
Mon, 01-21-2008 - 1:53pm

OMG Carmen is soooooo cute!!!!!


I have such pangs for a dog. I grew up with dogs and DD loves them. In an appartment it is not possible to have one so there is am empty spot in our hearts, we both want one so bad!


thanks for sharing the adorable pics!!!

~Pacific~
~Pacific~
Avatar for myprecioustwo
iVillage Member
Registered: 04-08-2003
Mon, 01-21-2008 - 1:54pm
You are SO right! I know that everything you say is true and one day the right person will come along for me.
Avatar for myprecioustwo
iVillage Member
Registered: 04-08-2003
Mon, 01-21-2008 - 1:57pm

Carmen was raised in an apartment and I live in an apartment. I specifically was worried about it, but now I'm not. Carmen in a very laid back dog and VERY much the lady. She tends to sniff in disgust

Pages