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| Thu, 07-19-2007 - 9:01am |
Well, he came over last night. Our 3rd date. As soon as he got here, I showed him around my house and things got physical almost immediately. I didn't mind. I was suprised that with all the pictures all over my house of my kids, that he didn't mention them once...other than being afraid that we would wake them up. I spend time before he came to swap out pictures of my X (just hadn't gotten around to it) so he didn't feel uncomfortable, but he didn't even look. No conversation at all. I didnt mind the physical stuff...but there was nothing else!! He got her at 8:30 and left at 10:30. No hanging out, no talking, no nothing. No fun...made the whole physical part of it less appealing. I don't regret it at all, but it makes it crystal clear to me what his intentions are. I've been putting off having that conversation, but I think I need to. To make me feel better and then I can make up my mind if I want to keep things going purely physically or not. I want to maintain control. So...is this what they call FWB??? Just come over, have sex, and leave...until next time? I've never done this before and I'm all over the place. My heart and head is fine...just not sure what to do!! And I'm not even sure if it was worth it. Our last 2 dates I could barely keep my hands off of him. This time I could take it or leave it...who knows! He isn't my taste physically, so maybe that's why? He is cute, but not what I drool over! lol Who knows...any advice? kicks in the ass??
Thanks!
Karie

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I know EXACTLY what you're saying about the house thing. I'm trying now to buy one, and even though things with funnyguy are going well and I tried to take into account his preferences and taste, bottom line is that this house had to be right for me and the kids.
Luckily, the one I found is in a great school district, is so cute yet needs a little TLC- I LOVE doing rehab work- and is perfectly in a prime location. Halfway between my work and funnyugy's and way out in the country. my son will be able to finally get the dog he's wanted since birth.
I also took into account the newness of our relationship. We're planning on doing this together but it isn't so much house, so much moeny, or so much work that I can't do it myself if I need to. It'll be MY house.
I think for you, please don't end things with Mr History. See what he does-I LIKE that he asked you to go see it, for your opinion. Remeber, other than location, there's nothing about a house that can't be changed with a little work (and money), and that it doesn't have to be perfect overnight.
He's been great about making you feel good, you enjoy him and the time you spend with him, and it's so soon in the relationship that this doesn't have to be a deal breaker.
Good luck!!!
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I think it's the fact that I finally want a say so in something as important as a house. I have to get my own house then and just forget about what happens with Mr. History. I have to move forward because this is something I TRULY WANT for myself.
Mr. History and I went to a baseball game last night and we had a blast. He started talking house again and finally I just told him how I felt and that I thought it might end up being a deal breaker between us. He totally didn't understand, BUT when I explained some of the things, he agreed that it didnt' make sense. The market RIGHT now is slowing. Has been for awhile; we all know it, but Charlotte is just NOW getting hit and the high price houses are now having to lower the outrageous asking price to come back to reality. Which is a GREAT thing. I told Mr. History that given that info, he shouldn't be buying anything right now. The market is only STARTING to sink now. He can get a great deal in about 6 months. I just told him it made no sense that he finds the PERFECT house for himself and then in a year, would have to sell it again. I don't know. Anyway, I have figured something out for myself if push comes to shove. Say I buy this house that i really want at a great descent price, then I am going to keep it and rent it out for an investment opportunity; then flip it and sell it later when the market is ready later. I can only afford a house between 60-95 thousand. That is like NOTHING. BUT, they have cute houses out in the country for that price and I think the girls would really enjoy it. Most of them come with one to three acres of land. That is PERFECT. If I could get that much land for that cheap then I could eventually build my own house on it. :) Anyway, he was taken aback that I told him that it might be a deal breaker, but he knows now and I feel better for telling him instead of acting like it doesn't bother me. I want to be honest with him. He said he was also thinking about the whole timeline thing, etc. So it crossed his mind as well. I told him I never had a timeline in my life and I'm sorry that it's that way right now, but I can't do anything about that. I care about him and he cares about me, but both of us aren't ready to talk about a future. However, I said what I had to say and it is what it is. Now I can just move on and let him make whatever decision he wants to make.
GOOD stuff - I think you handled that well. Because it is important to you and that is what matters. I love how you would say that you will buy your own house if that is what it takes.
So now all you need is time. And isn't that what we all need? :-)
HIGH FIVE!
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