My weekend and other stuff.
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| Mon, 04-23-2007 - 9:53am |
I had a great weekend with my friends. Went to my kid's soccer game on Friday evening, then home to do a few things and then met a girlfriend for drinks. Slept in on Saturday, did some chores, watched a movie, hung out with a friend for awhile and went to bed early.
TJ called me Friday before he left for his trip. Talked for a few minutes about our week and what our plans for the weekend were. He said that he hoped to be headed back early enough on Sunday so that we could at least meet for lunch. He called Sunday morning to say they decided to say they decided to stay later and play some golf before heading back to town. He said he would call me and we would make plans to see each other soon. I'm really not that into him and he just isn't available. NEXT... I will tell him that he just doesn't seem to have time and I'm not interested. He has been gone 3 of the last 4 weekends. He just isn't for me and I don't want to put for the effort since I don't really feel a spark anyhow. I may not have wanted to see him anymore regardless, but for someone that isn't ever around, no way.
So Sunday, I went and got a new gas can and some gas for the lawn mower. Met a girlfriend for coffee and we went for a walk, then to the grocery store. Boy I lead such an exciting life. Picked up my kids, had dinner, mowed the lawn, baths and bed. That was my fun and exciting weekend.
I have seen lots of threads on here about how long you should wait before getting into a R after divorce or split. I have lots of friends with all kinds of ideas about that. I would have to say that it depends solely on the person. I don't think casual dating should ever be a problem. Jumping into a relationship just to have one is a problem. I personally know myself pretty well and know what I want from life. I will not change for some guy and he has to meet my expectations early on to even be considered. I would, however like to have sex. It has been a long time but I need the relationship first. Although I have only been separated for about a year I really have been taking care of myself (and without sex) and pretty much going it without a man for about 3 years. I am not young (39 YIKES) which I guess does make a difference in my attitude. I do have a girlfriend that says I shouldn't have a relationship and should concentrate on myself. I don't think they two are mutually exclusive. I have no need to please someone and always concentrate on my needs. That is just me, but I don't think you can be in a relationship and fully participate in it if you don't know yourself.
JMHO
Priscilla

"TJ called me Friday before he left for his trip. Talked for a few minutes about our week and what our plans for the weekend were. He said that he hoped to be headed back early enough on Sunday so that we could at least meet for lunch. He called Sunday morning to say they decided to say they decided to stay later and play some golf before heading back to town. He said he would call me and we would make plans to see each other soon. I'm really not that into him and he just isn't available. NEXT... I will tell him that he just doesn't seem to have time and I'm not interested. He has been gone 3 of the last 4 weekends. He just isn't for me and I don't want to put for the effort since I don't really feel a spark anyhow. I may not have wanted to see him anymore regardless, but for someone that isn't ever around, no way."
BRAVO! You are strong - to see this and to know what you want. I agree with what you write.
I agree with you there. Did your friend offer an explanation as to why she thought you didnt need a relationship? I would think you would no pretty well now what you need in a relationship, and TJ obviously isnt meeting those needs. Go ahead and feel free to find someone else. Now, where to find him? Thats the real question...and you definitely need Spark!!
--tj
I just think that she thinks people need to be single for a long time between relationships. She separated from her husband 4 years ago and has only been on one date. I think that she is happy that way which is great for her. She has a male friend (they are only friends) that helps her with home repairs and childcare when she needs, her mom spends 6 months a year with her and she travels frequently. She doesn't really have room in her life for anything else. I think she doesn't get the my life is significantly different and I have no problem knowing what I want and don't with or without a man.
Priscilla