My weekend - happy update

iVillage Member
Registered: 05-13-2005
My weekend - happy update
17
Mon, 08-13-2007 - 10:35pm

Okay - so Cat gave us a challenge for the weekend. Luckily for me I have my DS the whole weekend and we had such a great time AND I had almost no training since a very important race is coming up next weekend. I feel like a race horse that got barn rest. One day we cleaned the windows and the next the whole kitchen. DS also got a new slurpee machine so I have been enjoying those - it is a great way to get him to enjoy more fruit juice.

Lifeguard and I have talked about our kids quite a bit. I must say the thing that strikes me as being so good for him is that he dearly loves his son and sees him at least 3 times per week. They do a lot of fun activities and especially given that his son is a teenager - that is not easy to keep one busy! He also gets along really well with his son's mom and her husband and appreciates all they do and it sounds like the three of them work together well. He is just really positive. And I like how he accepts his son for who he really is and is supportive with is dreams and goals.

I want Lifeguard to meet my son. We are now almost at the three month mark and it is going very well. It is just easy. Not too fast - we only see each other about two times per week as our schedules both allow with work and kids. And I am not looking to start an instant family and have them spend gobs of time together. And this is sooner than I would have done so in the past but DS is now a preteen and I am not so worried about him getting super attached - his dad is active in his life. But it is important for me to have Lifeguard see me as a mom and meet my son and also to see how my son reacts and to see how they interact from time to time.

And Lifeguard is thrilled that he would get to meet him and tickled that I mentioned him to my son. But at the same time he is terrified that we will screw this up because I mean a lot to him. So we have been discussing this at length with how to go about it. Apparently his son's mom didn't always do so well with this and my exh surely made about every mistake in the book his last time around. So we discussed all of these mistakes and our own philosophies and what is best for my DS. And he said we should go to the beach and visit - take it slow and not overwhelm DS or make him feel threatened in any way. He remembers his son at that age and says mom is his whole world.

Okay - so on Sunday we were supposed to meet for a ride early - just a short one. But he got called into work. And that is fine because I knew that was a possibility and can save the ride for today which we did. So, he says we are welcome to come to the beach and that we did.

And it went well. He spoiled us with his beach stuff so we didn't have to schlep it - I think he adjusted the umbrella like 1000 times to make sure it was just right and he had cold drinks for us and we had the best spot on the beach saved for us. DS was thrilled to meet him - they got to chat a bit and Lifeguard complimented DS on his great swimming and body-surfing abilities and promised to let him use the boogy board and new surfboard the next time around. DS had a lot of fun with me - he put sand in my hair and splashed me. We had a great day at the beach and all went well. And DS liked him - he says next time he wants to sit in the stand. DS also appreciates our approach.

He also took me to his house. It is small but he is proud of it and wanted to show me and says I am the first girl he has really taken to his house - usually it is just him and his son and dad. I got to see pix of his son and he is really cute.

He is also going to get up at 4AM to take me to the airport for my race at the end of the week and will get out of work early to pick me up when I come back if needed.

So things are going well so far. I must say it is so nice when he is "that into you" and the match is good for having things in common and mutual attraction and respect. I am taking it day by day.

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iVillage Member
Registered: 05-13-2005
Tue, 08-14-2007 - 11:47am

No - not really - it is a weekend race - I suggested that we take the boys to the waterpark one of the days and make a kid weekend of it instead of just a race for the two of us as I have always done this with taking my son and the babysitter to the races with me - the boys will enjoy that a lot and his dad can spend time with the boys while we are racing. His dad is moving here in a few weeks and will probably be delighted to go with us.

I think it is important that we minimize the time disruptions to our kids schedules. I know his kid would not like to be left out of a weekend and mine would not either. And it is fun for all of us to be together some especially before our Ironman in the spring.

I imagine it will be hectic with the race factor. But it is a race that is more for fun for me because it is the last one of the season - no pressure - and training for it keeps me honest and thin ;-)

Avatar for myprecioustwo
iVillage Member
Registered: 04-08-2003
Tue, 08-14-2007 - 1:54pm

training for it keeps me honest and thin

- you crack me up too! Good for you! I'm so happy for you! :)

iVillage Member
Registered: 12-28-2004
Tue, 08-14-2007 - 2:46pm

You've earned sooo many stars in my book the biggest star for keeping it at a pace you're comfortable with. It is so easy to get caught up with someone new it starts rolling to fast.

Sounds like you gotta a good thing going on!!!

iVillage Member
Registered: 09-26-2005
Tue, 08-14-2007 - 6:19pm
I'm so happy for you ! Thanks for putting a great big smile on my face!
Like Mark said, excellent pacing!
The T Girl
iVillage Member
Registered: 05-13-2005
Tue, 08-14-2007 - 7:39pm

The thing about the pacing - is that we don't have a choice!! LOL!! So I am not sure how much credit I should take - except I am conscious that I don't want to chase him or screw things up or get my hopes up too much - just sort of let it go along all by itself and see what happens - I mean I never expected this much after our first date. It is sort of scary after not dating for so long and after having so much drama in the dating department in the years post-divorce never mind after reading all of the horror stories here for so long.

He sees his son 3 times a week and my DS sees his dad 3 times a week - so that really only leaves us about 1-2 nights where we are both childless and maybe a day off during the week to go bike riding, swimming, running or to the beach. We live about 40 min from each other so it is not like we can visit on the drop of hat or even easily include our kids together which I am not really sure we will do all that much - maybe just for races.

And he calls every day and is into me so somehow I feel content to work on all of the things in my life that keep me busy and not worry about when I will get to see him because I know he will make the time when we both can - this is sort of a first for me. I mean, this morning I was so content to clean the house and to get a lot of work done and then go for a run - we talked a couple times on the phone today - partly because we have to work on our race travel plans.

Today he asked if DS made mention of him. And in fact, DS did! So, he will bring one of DS's favorite movies to watch in another week or so.

iVillage Member
Registered: 04-17-2003
Tue, 08-14-2007 - 8:20pm
YAY Judy! Makes me have hope for myself someday! I am very happy for you!
Stephanie
iVillage Member
Registered: 09-01-2006
Wed, 08-15-2007 - 10:11am

Judy - I am so happy for you. This sounds like a such a good pairing - in fact it reminds me of some of the posts that Shrimpy and Moody have written about Hiker and Funnyguy respectively. It sounds so comfortable and right. :)

As far as you both introducing one another to your children, I will be following you closely as I am still a couple of months away from introducing my girls to Kazoo. My goal is to have everyone meet sometime in the Fall (Oct/Nov) - albeit very casually. By then we would have been dating for seven months. Then, by Christmas, be able to actually have all of us spend time together.

Congratulations Judy!

Rose

Rosecolouredspecs

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