My what a crazy week!

iVillage Member
Registered: 03-27-2005
My what a crazy week!
3
Tue, 04-12-2005 - 1:30am
Well let's see.
It started with the letter from my stbx's attorney casually notifying me that we have a court date set for a final hearing on 4-13-05. I found out about that on thursday of last week. So I'm given a 6 day notice that my divorce will be finalized and I feel like I should be there, but how can I with no $, 5 kids to arrange care for, and a full time job that just does not have the staff to be able to let me go. So, it will be ended without me there, but it will be ended much sooner than I thought, so i guess I am pleased about that. PLus he is still calling the kids every week, which I think is just great. The kids need him to show some interest.
So, I put a personals profile out there at the urging of a friend. I felt so silly doing it, but I thought, what could it hurt? It's not like I have any obligation to anyone else. I have gotten some real scuzzballs asking me to chat. I just tell them no thank you and close the conversation. It is usually pretty evident fairly quickly what they are like(ahem..and why they are single!)
I have gotten a few nice guys invites though(at least they seem that way so far). One guy asked me to call him. He was very comlimentary and sweet. Another guy I have chatted with a couple of times. He is really attractive(in his photo anyway) He also seems very nice.
Then I talked to the guy from work for 2 1/2 hours on the phone the other night. We had a good conversation for the most part(I TOTALLY emabarassed myself at one point-oh my it was bad!). He was very honest with me. We seemed to be getting to know each other better. I liked talking to him.
Then my therapist tells me that this is a time for me to learn to be comfortable alone and that I need to give myself time to just pause. Ugh. I am not like that. I live life at full throttle, and I don't have any trouble with that-or at least I don't feel bad about it. It's part of what makes me who I am.
I'm not sure I'm ready to date anyone seriously. I figure I will probably get at least one rebound relationship(unfortunately). I'm just a little scared that I am too lonely to be on an official date.
I think I'll stick to bingo for a while (old men aren't so threatening! LOL!)
Anyway, hope everyone's weekend was well and the week is off to a good start. Thanks for letting me just ramble on a little.
All the Best,
jean
Avatar for myprecioustwo
iVillage Member
Registered: 04-08-2003
Tue, 04-12-2005 - 7:53am
Hi Jean,
I have to agree with your therapist. I think it's important to learn to be by yourself. You sound alot like me after I started to date again. It took me over 3yrs of partying and dating and failed relationships, to realize I was not doing myself any good.
iVillage Member
Registered: 05-25-2004
Tue, 04-12-2005 - 8:32am

Hi Jean,

Wow - your divorce is going to be final so quickly - it sounds like everything went smooth - and okay for you.

It is good that you are rambling!! That is what we are all here for. I think your therapist is right that you just have to chill for now.

It is good that you are closing off the chats with the guys you don't like - see - you are learning already how to weed out the bad ones. The online thing can be a fun experiment to just get you out there and talking to new people - realizing what you like and don't like.

Take good care!! Tell us more about your kids - how do you stay on top of having so many? I have my hands full with just one!! He just said that he wants a swimming pool for his birthday - or if I don't want to get him that, then a DOG.

Oh dear!!

iVillage Member
Registered: 03-04-2005
Tue, 04-12-2005 - 9:13am

Isn't the whole thing scary and confusing? I know what you mean- be alone, find yourself, but at the same time you think to yourself, " I was alone for my whole marriage and I dont want to be alone anymore!" And there are the kids to think about and work and money and the future. Arg!

Amy