Nagging Gut

iVillage Member
Registered: 06-04-2004
Nagging Gut
26
Thu, 01-03-2008 - 5:37pm

I'm not sure what it is that is bugging me, but my gut has been nagging me. For some reason, I just feel like a shoe is going to drop with Hiker & I. Something like he and his ex deciding to get back together just to help his DS or something like that. Although the entire time we've known each other and have been dating, he's reassured me that he doesn't want to get back together with her.


But the fact that he will still allow her to come stay at his house when she has no place to go- and that he used DS as one of the reasons why he allowed it at first, even when he didn't want to... he said it would be good for DS to spend some time with his mom. But I didn't think she had to be LIVING there for them to spend time together! There was just something about that. But as I watched things for red flags, he showed me that there IS nothing between them, and that he is with me because he wants to be with me. So I know there isn't anything romantic between them.


But I do know Hiker enough to know that he could give up himself or his happiness

~shrimpy

"A man who wants something will find a way; a man who doesn't will find an excuse." ~Stephen Dolley Jr.

~<

iVillage Member
Registered: 10-07-2005
In reply to: shrimpychimps
Thu, 01-03-2008 - 10:32pm

Oh Shrimpy, I hope your gut is wrong on this one!


Photobucket
iVillage Member
Registered: 09-25-2004
In reply to: shrimpychimps
Thu, 01-03-2008 - 11:06pm

Hi Shrimpy,


iVillage Member
Registered: 11-03-2003
In reply to: shrimpychimps
Fri, 01-04-2008 - 12:38am

iVillage Member
Registered: 06-04-2004
In reply to: shrimpychimps
Fri, 01-04-2008 - 9:22am

Okay, chill... breathe...


Things are okay.


I was going to post an udpate last night, but I swear, I get times when iV just takes about 10-15 minutes to load up a page. And it's not because of my dial-up (I don't think) because most of the time, it takes less than 30 seconds! And as I watch that "modem" icon on my screen, it won't even be "pinging", but just sitting dark... for forever. So I just went to bed.


Anyway, after I posted that last bolded text post last night, my patience got the best of me and I called him. Everything is fine (whew): He hadn't called because he was trying to spend more time

~shrimpy

"A man who wants something will find a way; a man who doesn't will find an excuse." ~Stephen Dolley Jr.

~<

iVillage Member
Registered: 03-26-2003
In reply to: shrimpychimps
Fri, 01-04-2008 - 9:46am

Well...........WHEW!!!

 
iVillage Member
Registered: 08-23-2006
In reply to: shrimpychimps
Fri, 01-04-2008 - 10:39am

I'm SO glad you called him!!!

iVillage Member
Registered: 05-13-2005
In reply to: shrimpychimps
Fri, 01-04-2008 - 10:45am

PHEW! It is great you talked to him and everything is cool.

I agree with being on the slow boat - if something is good, why fix it? It is stressful to merge households and kids and finances. And I like that you are talking about the future and realistic that it is better to get the kids out of the house.

Maybe you two will talk about a goal for marriage one day? That you would like to be married and wait til his kids are out of the house?

Avatar for myprecioustwo
iVillage Member
Registered: 04-08-2003
In reply to: shrimpychimps
Fri, 01-04-2008 - 10:59am

Well, believe it or not, I have a story for EVERYTHING! LOL So here is mine:


My cousin was in college when she met her X husband, they have 3 children together. They had a very stressful marriage because the X was always jobless and all the burden was on her. However, he was a great father but when they finally got divorced he was in and out of jobs, no child support, and living in my Aunts garage. Yes, her mom garage! Then he moved in with a girlfriend, she suported him and he finally got a job for a short time. This went on for years and years and years. WELL, my cousin met this guy on Match.com and after two months they

iVillage Member
Registered: 11-03-2003
In reply to: shrimpychimps
Fri, 01-04-2008 - 11:46am

The word for the day is


Phew!


I think you're right about people pressuring you if you were to become engaged.

iVillage Member
Registered: 06-04-2004
In reply to: shrimpychimps
Fri, 01-04-2008 - 12:00pm

ITA, Cat!


I think, after fielding all the questions in this thread abou stuff (including my own)- I realize even more- that there really isn't anything wrong with our relationship, and that it is just what I want it to be. Committed to being together as a couple, but no rush to make the whole family a group together. And the only thing that needs help- is what you mentioned, Cat. That he needs to just fill me in on what is going on in his world a bit more. I think that has been the case many times, and once we touch base again... I'm feeling okay again. Which is weird to me- because I used to be SOOO needy in this way in the past. And while I like to think I've grown more secure in this area, I can still see where it can still rear its ugly head on me. But the good part is, I'm not letting it leak over into ugliness all over Hiker and what's US as well- as I used to do in the past, and allow it to sabotage my relationships. I might still see those old insecure thoughts come in, but I'm not allowing them to interfere with us. I'm glad I called him and talked and let him know where I stand, and what I was feeling (but without accusing- as I DO understand his need to spend time with DS right now, too- and glad that

~shrimpy

"A man who wants something will find a way; a man who doesn't will find an excuse." ~Stephen Dolley Jr.

~<