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| Mon, 05-07-2007 - 12:29pm |
I've been dating R for about 2 months. Our kids already knew each other from school so it was not a big deal for them that we were dating. We spent part of this weekend together with all of our kids for the first time. He has 6 children all together but has vistitation with his 10 and 8 year old daughters (the others are older and on their own). I have 6 year old son and 3 year old daughter.
There was an incident this weekend where my son told R's 8 year old that he wanted to go underneath her legs and see her "pee pee". The daughter came to me and told me what had happened, I spoke to him about private areas, etc and he apologized to her for saying what he said. I realize now that I should have told R that this happened as his daughter went home and told her mom what occurred and her mother is very upset. I got a call from R this morning asking me what happened and I explained and apologized for not telling him so that he would be prepared in case his ex called him on it. I told him that I would be upset as well if it was my daughter and I wasn't defenseive as I have many behavoiral problems with my son. R says he's not upset or mad and that he'd handle it with his ex but I am mortified and upset. I can't stop thinking about it and being worrried. I know kids do these types of things and that it's not a huge deal but I worry that things like this may come between R and I. Did I handle it ok or should I again speak to my son and remind him that private areas are private and what he said was not right or just leave it alone and remind him the next time we are all together to repsect the girls?
Thanks for any advice you can give me.

I think you did the right thing. I would try to keep a close eye on him the next time they are together - maybe not leave them alone until you can be assured he doesn't do anything like that again? I would also talk to both of them together - mention that we do not touch or look at other people's privates and encourage the girl to speak up if he is doing anything like that.
It could be a curiosity thing. Maybe he saw something like that in school and is repeating it? You should talk to him about that.
Oh well, he's a six-year old boy, not the best thing for him to do, but they do that.. Mine is 7, he and 2 other 7 year olds were on the bus,showing each other.. Not a nice call to get from the principle. I flat out asked her, is that normal? She is a very good person, and has alot of expierence, she laughed, and said, oh yeah, but usually not on the bus,,LOL
I had the sternest talk with that little boy when I got home, and let him know, and made sure he fully understood it was private for a reason, and it was not something he could ever do again.He has a cousin who is a year older, and I keep my eye on them when they are alone playing, and I remind Ds now and then to remember his privates, are private..
They're curious and innocent, and they do alot worse than this,,I would have probabally told R, but he took it well, and you'll work it out, you said he has older kids, so this probabally isn't the first time he's had these kinds of things happen...
Florence