Need advice!!
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| Thu, 07-06-2006 - 4:56pm |
Ok, I am here for a bit of advice, might be a long story so hang in there.....
Last summer I traveled with my best friend(male) and his wife to visit his family about 350 miles from where we all live. I met his family a while back when they were visiting our town, and we all hit it off well. He and I work together and I am also close friends with his wife, although he and I are closer than she and I. Well, we traveled to stay overnight with his family and attend a get together at my friends parents the next day. During the get together I met one of my friends cousins and we really seemed to hit it off well, we hung out together that day, talked about a lot of similarities in our life(being single and feeling like the third wheel at times, interests, difficulties in our previous relationships, etc.), ate our meal together, basically we just seemed to click right away. Well, as the day ended and we were getting ready to leave this guy told me that I should come back the next time my friend visited his family and we should all go out. I guess as I left I felt like there was some attraction on my part, but I ignored a lot of the signals he was putting out that day. I guess I felt like he was just being friendly and didn't want me to be left out, so I thought about him a few times but never acted on those feelings. Now, to the present time, last week at work my friend and I were talking about that get together and he told me some of the things his cousin had mentioned to him about me. He said his cousin told him how much he enjoyed my company, how attractive he thought I was, and how much fun he had with me that day just hanging out. I was a little upset with him for not telling me what his cousin had mentioned to him, I felt like he should have told me then and given me the opportunity to act if I chose to. Of course I kicked myself for being so naive and such an idiot for not picking up on some of the signals he put out there. Well, I asked him to see if maybe his cousin might still be single and I might be able to get into touch with him if he wasn't involved with anyone. He agreed and said he would make a phone call for me last night. This morning as I am talking to my friend on the phone he said he changed his mind and didn't think it was such a great idea to even get involved in it. That he didn't want to be in the middle if we did get together and things didn't work out. Well, my woman's intuition immediately told me that his wife talked to him and told him not to make the call for me. Not the first time that's happened. When I asked him about it, he admittted that she didn't think it was a good idea and told him not to call. He also said she felt like I shouldn't even contact this guy at all, that it has been a long time ago and that if he was interested he would have done more to contact me. I feel slighted that my friend never let me know his cousin expressed interest, and that I might have missed an opportunity with a really neat guy. I don't know what to do, I want to contact him and see how things are going with him or if he is still single. As of about a month ago he was not dating anyone. If he's not available or just not interested, that's ok. But for some reason I feel like maybe he said the things to my friend that he did in the hopes my friend would share the comments with me and things might progress from there. So, what do you guys think?? Do I let it go or just casually feel out the situation by giving this guy a call and go from there? If he is not single or not interested I can handle that, but I don't want to let it go without at least knowing. I guess I am an optomistic person and feel like you never know what might happen if you don't at least give it a try........

Am I correct in assuming that the cousin is 350 miles away? If so, that might be a reason the friend and his wife said to leave it alone. Also the cousin has a phone and the ability to ask for your number and get in touch with you if he really wants to. So I would not do anything about this. But that is just me and my opinion of what I would do for me.
Welcome to our board - I am sure the others will chime in. We hope you stick around and participate in our discussions.
Stephanie
Hi and welcome,
Ok... let me get this straight... you met a guy LAST summer, as in TWELVE months ago... and you're wondering if you should contact him???
I think your friend was just being a guy!! Don't read too much into that.
It is hard to meet a nice guy no matter your age, child status, whatever. I have so many friends from so many categories looking - and it is hard for all of them. I know it is hard to get out when you have kids. But I think if you just start to make an effort to meet new people wherever you go you will expand your social horizon. Perhaps there are even more kid activities you can do so you will meet a single dad near you. And there is always online dating - people here have had luck with that although for me it has been amusing at best.
Good luck - hope you will stick around!