Need help with profile
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| Sun, 09-21-2008 - 10:46am |
I posted this on the OLD board too, but could use some help. It's only getting responses from guys who are clearly not reading it. Critique away, ladies...I can handle the truth!
"All in all my life is pretty good. I have healthy, smart kids. I really like my job, teaching, because I feel I really make a difference in the lives of kids. My grandmother, at 90, is keeping me amused with her antics. I love to be with my friends, especially when we are having a good wine-fueled discussion about current events, which can get a little heated, but that is half the fun (oh, the names I've been called!). Perhaps you would like to join in?
I love wandering the streets of NY when the suburbs are sucking my soul dry, trying funky ethnic restaurants with or without health code violations, wanting to know what Britney Spears is up to, spying on the neighbors and making up great stories about them, driving everywhere.
A little bit more about me (conversation starters!)
1. I have an amazing supply of trivial information.
2. I watch the Polish news on WNYC. I don't speak Polish.
3. OJ Simpson once threatened to "get" my brother.
4. I was fired from a hippie youth hostel in Amsterdam for not making the granola breakfast fast enough
5. I know how to use power tools. I can change a tire.
6. Despite majoring in photography in art school, I can't take a decent picture of myself.
On the serious side, I am looking for someone who really wants to be connected to another person, someone who is willing to take a chance, someone who does not have 20 foot walls built around him. I want to be with someone who wants just as much to be with me.
But, on the other hand, I'd like to meet someone who can see the absurdities in life, who doesn't take everything so seriously that we can't relax and have some occasional infantile fun. My sense of humor tends towards the irreverent, and there is nothing I love more than a "who has more trivial information" competition over a few cocktails.
What do you get in return? A person who is kind, loyal, loves kids, will try her hardest to make you laugh, compassionate, interested in what you have to say, be your biggest fan, will jump in the car and head off to any sort of adventure, is there when you need her, knows when to back off (that last part took a long time to learn!)."
Again, any and all advice will be considered! Thanks!!!

Well, I like the first part and the list... it shows a little about you, gives a sense of your humour and gives some great ideas of things for the guy to talk about.
Second part NO NO NO!
"On the serious side, I am looking for someone who really wants to be connected to another person, someone who is willing to take a chance, someone who does not have 20 foot walls built around him. I want to be with someone who wants just as much to be with me."
This just spells out: I HAVE ISSUES. Not only that, you're not really being specific, just sounds like the typical "I've been burned" stuff that too many people put in their profile. You want it to be upbeat and fun, no negativity at all- you should take the whole paragraph out.
"But, on the other hand, I'd like to meet someone who can see the absurdities in life, who doesn't take everything so seriously that we can't relax and have some occasional infantile fun. My sense of humor tends towards the irreverent, and there is nothing I love more than a "who has more trivial information" competition over a few cocktails."
Again this part is fun and shows your humour, I would leave that in, just change the But on the other hand...
"What do you get in return? A person who is kind, loyal, loves kids, will try her hardest to make you laugh, compassionate, interested in what you have to say, be your biggest fan, will jump in the car and head off to any sort of adventure, is there when you need her, knows when to back off (that last part took a long time to learn!)."
I would take out the "that last part took a long time to learn" and the rest is great. You're selling your positive qualities- you don't need to go into how long it took to get them.