Need a little advice....

iVillage Member
Registered: 10-09-2005
Need a little advice....
16
Fri, 05-02-2008 - 2:48pm

Ok, Bikerguy is coming home today (yay!) and will have his daughters and I have my kids this weekend starting today.

Cat

Pages

iVillage Member
Registered: 10-07-2005
Fri, 05-02-2008 - 3:11pm
Cat- how long have you been with this guy?



Photobucket
iVillage Member
Registered: 10-09-2005
Fri, 05-02-2008 - 3:15pm
A year.
Cat
iVillage Member
Registered: 10-07-2005
Fri, 05-02-2008 - 3:18pm

Then why are you still tiptoeing around him?


If you want to see him, tell him so!


Photobucket
iVillage Member
Registered: 10-09-2005
Fri, 05-02-2008 - 3:20pm

I know, I know!

Cat
iVillage Member
Registered: 10-07-2005
Fri, 05-02-2008 - 3:26pm

Good!


Photobucket
iVillage Member
Registered: 09-11-2007
Fri, 05-02-2008 - 3:34pm

Exactly! Expressing your feelings doesn't make you needy and clingy!!! Just keep in mind your delivery. If you come off pouty, it might be viewed as needy. You're not jealous of his job, and you know he needs to work out of town right now, but that doesn't change the fact that your world has been turned upside down! AND YOU MISS HIM! That's got to be a bit of an ego boost for him, right?

Just be your loving self, and it will be all good!

Have fun!
Moon

iVillage Member
Registered: 08-08-2007
Fri, 05-02-2008 - 3:37pm

I knew I was acting like a mousy, whiny baby


Don't be so harsh on yourself...we all go through the learning curve of dating. And just because its been a year it doesn't mean you have to know how to approach every situation. It takes trial and error to feel things out sometimes. I agree there is no problem in telling him you miss him and I doubt that would come off as needy.


I hope you have a chance to get together for a bit this weekend. If you want to see him, I seen no problem in making that suggestion unless he always spends his kid weekends alone with them.


You're not whiny or a baby... you've got a great head on your shoulders and can trust yourself to make good decisions! Enjoy this weekend!

~Pacific~
~Pacific~
iVillage Member
Registered: 09-21-2006
Fri, 05-02-2008 - 3:46pm

I deal with this all the time with M as he travels a lot. I let him know right up front that I appreciate a call while he's gone to know he arrived safely and to just touch base. Even an e-mail would be appreciated. You don't have to whine or sound needy, just matter of factly say you missed him, and ask about his plans for the weekend. Then you can suggest a short touch base face to face some time when it seems he isn't busy with kids. I know M really misses his kids when he travels as it often cuts his visitation to seeing them only once in a full week. So I just let him know I'd like to see him sometime soon, he always works me in, even if it's just a quick cup of coffee at Safeway.
If you go back through the message board archives I posted about the one time M didn't communicate with me while traveling with his kids. It was bad enough he took it for granted I would be fine about it, maybe annoyed but not mad. He had forgotten I was having a biopsy while he was gone (I'm fine), and my car broke down, and some other stressful things were going on- I was so upset when he finally got back he was afraid I was breaking up with him. Lets just say it has never happened again.

QueenBun, who used to be the queen of suffer in silence- no more!

iVillage Member
Registered: 03-15-2004
Fri, 05-02-2008 - 3:51pm

Exactly! A YEAR?

Photobucket

iVillage Member
Registered: 10-09-2005
Fri, 05-02-2008 - 4:45pm

I want to be strong and confident but my background with my ex sometimes creeps in and I go back to old ways of thinking I'm not good enough.

Cat

Pages