need objective opinions

iVillage Member
Registered: 08-31-2007
need objective opinions
15
Tue, 11-27-2007 - 1:10am

I am new to posting on here, although I have read your posts for some time.

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iVillage Member
Registered: 11-03-2003
Wed, 11-28-2007 - 9:46pm

I wouldn't suggest keeping a date private so much that when you get engaged, you spring him on your kids as "This is so-and-so... and we're getting married"


I agree!

iVillage Member
Registered: 09-11-2007
Wed, 11-28-2007 - 10:11pm

Good Lord, Child - where DOES this wisdom come from???

iVillage Member
Registered: 09-21-2006
Wed, 11-28-2007 - 11:17pm
Totally agree, Shrimpy. M and I are handling the kid situation pretty much the same way as you and Hiker. We at least have custody schedules that fit well to keep our time together mostly not during our time with our kids. Since we're both comfortable with things as they are and not rushing to the altar or anything there's no reason to get our kids more involved. Kids can take a very long time to adjust to the divorce and the concept that their parents will move on with their lives.
QueenBun
iVillage Member
Registered: 08-08-2007
Thu, 11-29-2007 - 4:15pm

***standing ovation for Shimps post...****


Very well said!!!


~Pacific~
iVillage Member
Registered: 06-04-2004
Thu, 11-29-2007 - 8:04pm

Dang you guys.... I didn't think that post was THAT good! lol


But I'm glad it DID pass along the right kind of wisdom (me? wisdom?!?? ha!) on the when-to-meet-the-kids situation. But just know that I've learned that wisdom the hard way- by having a BF post-divorce where we did kind of have nearly every date as a kid-filled date (go to the park, then out to dinner, all together- and then him being WITH us as I put the kids to bed)... and everyone getting attached like a little family. It was nice, but yet it was such the mistake! Especially to do it before there was any sort of permanent commitment in place. Stupid!!!! So that "wisdom" of mine... well, it's still new and undented. ;-)


So with Hiker- it just seems easy to do it the way we are... because I know NOT to do it the insta-family way! And I'm glad he isn't pushing for the inst-family thing, either!


~shrimpy

"A man who wants something will find a way; a man who doesn't will find an excuse." ~Stephen Dolley Jr.

~<

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