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| Tue, 06-29-2004 - 8:05pm |
BUT:
He is VERY close friends with an ex-girlfriend from college. The story goes, he had a huge crush on her in high school, they were seriously involved all through college and almost got married but it didn’t work out. They realized they were better off as friends. They became really good friends and have stayed close ever since. They’ve known each other for almost half their lives. They know eachother's parents and families well too and inquire about them frequently. Their relationship has evolved into something platonic, yet strong…similar to a sister and brother. There are no romantic feelings whatsoever. They live three states apart now and keep in touch via phone and email on a monthly basis. Sometimes they send pictures of each other’s kids, pets, etc…
He disclosed his friendship to the woman when they first started to date exclusively and woman was ok with it. Now that they have moved in together, woman can’t handle it. She is insecure about it. She hasn’t demanded that he end the friendship, but has done everything short of that. Including complaining to him that he spends too much time on the phone with her (once a month to catch up), shouldn’t be sending pictures or mailing letters to her because it is “inappropriate” and just overall gets moody when she finds out he’s been emailing or chatting with her.
Again, I re-emphasize, the exchange between them is of the level of a brother and sister, and no more frequent than once or twice a month.
To what extent does the man have to sacrifice his long time friendship for the new woman in his life? What do you think is fair?

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Anyway, it doesn’t matter anymore. At least not with this one, because they had a huge fight this weekend and he has asked her to leave! It was not entirely about me. I don’t even think it’s about insecurity. I think one of you hit the nail on the head when you said it was about control.
I won’t go into much detail, but suffice to say she picked a few more things about him that she didn’t like and needed to be dealt with… including his mountain biking “habit” which he has been doing avidly for the majority of his lifetime, and she told him the dog needed to go! (he’s had that dog since 1991, it’s like a baby to him!) Something about the dog being old and incontinence and allergies. He told her if she can’t live with the dog she can leave.
She’s leaving.
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