Need some advice...

iVillage Member
Registered: 10-01-2007
Need some advice...
15
Thu, 06-19-2008 - 11:00am

Ok - so here's the deal.

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iVillage Member
Registered: 05-13-2005
Thu, 06-19-2008 - 11:05am

I would just say - "cannot talk now because I am in a relationship - but thanks for the note and good luck with your search."

But I would NOT show the BF that - because I feel that puts you in a "prover" all the time type of thing. But that is just my gut reaction. You have to do what feels right for you.

iVillage Member
Registered: 10-07-2005
Thu, 06-19-2008 - 11:11am

Well, you don't really have to reply at all... he didn't indicate a need for a reply: as in asking a question.


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iVillage Member
Registered: 10-01-2007
Thu, 06-19-2008 - 11:19am

I didn't think of that.

iVillage Member
Registered: 08-08-2007
Thu, 06-19-2008 - 5:00pm

Hi Cool Cat-


Well I can at least give you the view point of what you b/f is feeling. BOY HAVE I BEEN THERE! I've been the more untrusting one..the one who needed the validation like your b/f does.


I give your b/f a lot of credit for not blowing up or over reacting when you got that text. Its probably because you ARE already showing him that you are trustworthy by being so open and honest- you're showing him you have nothing to hide. That goes a long way!


Its good that, if you do want to remain exclusive with your bf, you do follow through and text the guy back. I would just say "I'm seeing someone and it's exclusive. Thanks for asking anyway. Take care of yourself!" Something like that..


I agree with the others..no need to show your bf. He'll need to trust you that you go through with it. The guy could be persistant..be prepared for that. Good luck!!


~Pacific~
iVillage Member
Registered: 06-01-2008
Thu, 06-19-2008 - 8:06pm
I was once in a situation where I had talked a few times to a woman who (as it turns out) had a boyfriend, and after the third call or so, she said that she had mentioned me to her boyfriend, and he didn't really like the idea of me calling her. I said I understood and didn't pursue her anymore. It made perfect sense to me. I knew I was pursuing her, and her boyfriend had every right to be bothered by that. If you say something like that and the guy still persists, then you have a red flag right away that he might not have the highest standards of integrity, and he's not worth your time anyway, as a friend or otherwise.
iVillage Member
Registered: 10-01-2007
Fri, 06-20-2008 - 9:45am

Ok - I did send the text - just said something like "I'm doing great, have met a wonderful guy and am very happy.

iVillage Member
Registered: 05-13-2005
Fri, 06-20-2008 - 10:26am

"I jut deleted that one and didn't mention it. LOL"

PERFECT!!

iVillage Member
Registered: 11-03-2003
Fri, 06-20-2008 - 1:03pm

I'm doing great, have met a wonderful guy and am very happy.

iVillage Member
Registered: 08-08-2007
Fri, 06-20-2008 - 1:10pm

he's glad I'm happy but would like to talk sometime.

~Pacific~
iVillage Member
Registered: 10-30-2004
Fri, 06-20-2008 - 1:18pm
Some guys will pursue with no regard to the boyfriend in the picture.

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