need to take my own advice

iVillage Member
Registered: 03-25-2002
need to take my own advice
19
Mon, 07-21-2008 - 8:18pm

So i'm feeling that Meetup Hottie isn't interested in me.. feeling bummed today about it for some reason.. I think it's the let down from the excitement of meeting him the other Saturday. I missed bowling last night and from what i can tell from the meetup website... MHottie was there. He posted a greeting to someone about a good tasting drink or something... And my own advice was that if he's interested he would pursue... so far, no signs of him pursuing me.... I could squeeze some once of hope but i'd be kidding myself. For example, at Friday night's meetup I showed up late and a friend of mine said he asked about me. I was hopeful when she said that, but as the night went on, he didn't talk to me much... and that as i said, made me get the clue.


Oh well, i'll prob see him at other meetups. He's a new friend regardless.. i'll just try not to drool too obviously. Oh, and i found out he has a twin brother, too... but his brother doesn't live around here.


Tonight i'm foregoing a meetup and instead checking out the new place that has the game "Rock Band".... a coworker is planning to join me so at least i won't be alone....

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iVillage Member
Registered: 10-07-2005
Mon, 07-21-2008 - 8:34pm

It is a bummer, hey?

But there's a better one around the corner.

And you know my vote isn't for the "younger hottie" guys... I think you'll get a MUCH BETTER match if you focus your age group a little higher, say in the 30's. You'll find a great guy who's 36 as well, looks 25 like you do and is responsible, reliable and FUN FUN FUN just like you!




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iVillage Member
Registered: 05-13-2005
Tue, 07-22-2008 - 11:13am

Sorry to hear you are disappointed with MeetupHottie - that is hard when you like someone and hope they feel the same way - and then they are sort of disinterested.

I have to ask you a question - do you really think you are going to find the type of guy who wants a relationship in a bar? I worry about that. Although I do think the meetup thing is better - at least you are meeting people who have common interests. I was just wondering if there is a graphic art meetup - or some other one that captures your interest that is not bar related.

Maybe I am being to "generalized" or "stereotyped" - I do have a tendency to do that I know - but I have always thought of the guys in the bars, especially the younger ones - as game hunters or players. They want the candy for one night - but they don't want more at this point in their lives. Because I think the "more" has to come from really getting tired of single life - and really wanting a great friendship and relationship with one woman who captures their fancy. It is also about common interests and values.

I do respect that you love karaoke and music - I just wished there was a way to get that OUT of the bar lifestyle so you would meet someone more relationship oriented? KWIM? You are pretty and talented and you need someone who respects you for that and wants to learn more and be with you every day (or a few days a week - I know you are busy - LOL!!)

Just my .02 - I want to see Loony happy!! Also you have to understand I am not a bar person - so maybe that doesn't apply - I don't know?

iVillage Member
Registered: 04-17-2003
Tue, 07-22-2008 - 11:41am

I have to agree with you. 99% of the guys in their 20's doing the bar scene are NOT into finding a relationship. They are into partying and hopefully getting laid. (sorry if that is too blunt)

I would start trying other ways to meet someone and I would forget about the young hotties, unless all you want is a physical relationship. I want someone who has common interests, values, a matching maturity level and is past the partying scene. I want someone who is also interested in what is between my ears, not just what is between my legs.

Stephanie

iVillage Member
Registered: 05-13-2005
Tue, 07-22-2008 - 11:48am

"I want someone who is also interested in what is between my ears, not just what is between my legs."

WOW - Steph - you are on a roll - what a great comment - I vote that one as quote of the day or the year!!! It took me so so so so long to realize that those are two different things for sure.

iVillage Member
Registered: 03-25-2002
Tue, 07-22-2008 - 12:56pm

Hmmm.. well, taking my own advice... i always tell others to keep doing what YOU like, be true to you, keep getting out there.... then eventually you'll meet someone that's right for YOU...


I don't believe in trying to be like others so that i'll meet someone for me..So, with that said, i AM doing what i like... joining the Nightlife meetup and karaoke. I also joined a drawing meetup (most of the nightlife members are in this group)... they meet mostly when i have to work but there is a weekend event coming up soon.


I

iVillage Member
Registered: 10-30-2004
Tue, 07-22-2008 - 1:45pm
It think it's a matter of jumping outside your comfort zone and trying new things.
iVillage Member
Registered: 05-13-2005
Tue, 07-22-2008 - 6:45pm

"Hmmm.. well, taking my own advice... i always tell others to keep doing what YOU like, be true to you, keep getting out there.... then eventually you'll meet someone that's right for YOU..."

YES YES YES YES - absolutely. I just don't think the answer is only found in a bar.

I was trying to brainstorm in the other thread about guitar hero for you to find a way to go out and be musically or artistically inclined in other ways. Isysmoon had an idea too - to branch out a bit.

I just think that you have a lot going for you - you are very artistic and nice and you just got a good promotion at work. And I think someone similar would appreciate that more than some of the guys you describe from the bar like the 25 year old hottie - but that is just my honest .02 from sitting here reading what you write - maybe you see a different crowd/opportunity than I can imagine?

I wonder - are there a lot of media artists who go out after work? Is there a place where you would be inclined to find more of those types? Or an association for them that holds professional meetings where you can mingle? Or more meetups that appeal to you?

iVillage Member
Registered: 03-25-2002
Tue, 07-22-2008 - 7:05pm

I agree that the bar isn't the ONLY answer... it's just a place where i enjoy going. I didn't see MeetupHottie as the typical guy in a bar type, though... we met at a meetup remember. He designs websites and we talked about the job, etc. He likes karaoke - i like karaoke. He's new in town - i'm new in town. I felt like he's a great guy to hang out with... BUT i wasn't going to chase him. So i had to come to grips that he's not interested. Which is cool, really, because now maybe i can act normally around him.. He's now in the friend category (even though i still think he's hot)...


And i am neither bored nor in a rut. I'm sooo busy and doing things i enjoy. I'm not caught up with meeting the ONE by any stretch. I'm doing things that i find fun, enjoying life and enjoying the moment.


Not everyone can handle my crazyness... i know this.. but i have to be true to me. So far, my meetup group friends totally get my crazyness and it's a good feeling.

iVillage Member
Registered: 10-07-2005
Tue, 07-22-2008 - 8:56pm

"I didn't see MeetupHottie as the typical guy in a bar type, though... we met at a meetup remember."

But wasn't the Meetup in a bar? I think that was the point that Judy was trying to make, is that the activities of the Meetup are still in the same background setting ie. bar...

I will take over some thoughts I had from Cat's post about her Meetup guy and what I feel she's learned from her experience... that you should enjoy the Meetups as friends who share the same activities as yourself and not focus on finding a guy in amongst the group. Cat said she now feels uncomfortable in the Meetup group because things didn't work out and wished she hadn't gotten "together" with the guy in the first place...

I have found in my experience that when I go into a setting focused on "boyfriend", the guys run the other way- they can smell it on you... but when you just go in thinking "friends, good time" they flock to you...

"Admire what you DO have, and stop asking for what you don't." Ds-age 8




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iVillage Member
Registered: 03-25-2002
Tue, 07-22-2008 - 9:11pm

that you should enjoy the Meetups as friends who share the same activities as yourself and not focus on finding a guy in amongst the group.


I agree and that's what i'm doing!

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