need to talk something thru...

iVillage Member
Registered: 08-01-2007
need to talk something thru...
4
Sun, 10-14-2007 - 10:13pm

...so that i get it out of my system.

Photobucket

 

http://www.wh
iVillage Member
Registered: 05-13-2005
Mon, 10-15-2007 - 9:07am

It sounds to me like you and your current bf are just not getting enough quality time to connect.

It is easy for people who are no longer divorced to get along when all they have to worry about is children's activities. I am sure that the reasons you got divorced were very strong and solid and are very much still there. There is a big difference between doing sports with the kids and being married on a day to day basis.

I think all of us have doubts about what we did because of the hassle it creates with our kids and our families and lives in general - I mean who started a family thinking it would someday be broken? I think that IS one of the hardest things about a divorce and have said so many times - it fixes one problem but creates a thousand more and the broken family thing will always haunt us.

But the bottom line was that all of us were in very unhappy one-way relationships that were not fulfilling or some of us were cheated on - at least I assume this after reading all of the stories. I know that I am happier alone even if it means I have to spend my life alone - I was just that miserable with my EXH and he never thought any of it was his problem or fault. He was very selfish - I could write a book why we are no longer together.

I know I could not stand to see my exh that often and I don't because he has to travel a lot. Just this weekend after being away for weeks and weeks he picks up DS. They are supposed to work at a school fair together but DS is sick so he drops him off with me and goes on to work it alone. I was glad to have DS back but felt bad for DS that his dad could not put him first. Yes, it is great to volunteer your time - but he does that because he has no social life and loves to impress everyone and puts that before my DS who has not seen him in weeks because of his work schedule. If that was me I would tell the school fair people I can't make it because DS is sick and we would chill together. BUT I really did not expect different because that is the way he is and will never change and that is why we are divorced.

Anyway, why don't you write why you were divorced and perhaps that will help you feel better. I am sure we will all agree with you and have gone through the same thing.

iVillage Member
Registered: 08-01-2007
Mon, 10-15-2007 - 11:22am

Thank you so much for great feedback.

Photobucket

 

http://www.wh
iVillage Member
Registered: 05-13-2005
Mon, 10-15-2007 - 11:41am

Yes, sweetie, you are DONE! Yours was even worse than mine. That was a one way ride on a one way street that wasn't really good for you to begin with.

Spend more time with your SO - even if it means you have to skip a game. You do deserve so much more than that.

I think the dream and comfort of an intact family is very strong. Unfortunately it is not always attainable. And there is no such thing as the perfect situation anyway. We all have to do the best we can with the cards we are dealt.

iVillage Member
Registered: 11-03-2003
Mon, 10-15-2007 - 5:24pm