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needing encouragement
| Fri, 01-18-2008 - 11:59am |
Hello all. I just felt I should get a few takes on what I am doing. okay! I had decided that I would stay home with my baby once I have her and not return to work b/c for one its been so long since I had a baby I know I will be super attached, for two it seems so common to hear stories on the news about daycares who get closed b/c of mistreatment of children, leaving kids in the car while hot, diaper rashes b/c they don't change them on time. I know this all could happen anywhere, at any time but I know for sure it would not happen on my watch-so I chose to stay home. The FOB and I were at an understanding about me staying home b/c he wanted the same for his first child

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Hi and welcome to the board, just thought I would chime in to say you are not alone... we here understand being a single mom, child support, seeking financial help, family support, finding quality day care, etc.... You can do it.
Please don't be afraid to ask for help. People need people. And sometimes, we show are greatest strengths when we ask for help.. i know that doesn't make much sense.... asking for help "feels" like we are weak.. but really it's the opposite. And most people LOVE to help!!!! I went to EVERY financial institute to find help when my youngest was born. It took many applications, but i finally found the financial help and i'm still using it.... And even before that, I humbled myself and got food and clothing from churches, etc. My biggest bill is child care and i'm so thankful that i recieve help to pay for that.... Have you looked up WIC (women infant and children) they will help you from the time you are pregnant. And getting help from services is a lot better than from a contolling FOB. In my situation, i turned him completely over to Social Services and Child Support Enforcement so I dont have to deal with him at all. They track him, down, garnish his wages, and send me a check.
EVERY child deserves the financial support of two parents. Period. Whether you were married or not. whether you like each other or not. It is his responsibilty and in VA if father's don't pay they go to JAIL. So, don't feel like you are asking for his help... it is his DUTY to financially support his child. The law is behind you on that one.... I have peace about it because i know that child support obligation never goes away... my ex owes me LOTS but even if he never pays me til he starts collecting Social Security... the government will garnish him forever! In the meantime, I've found other sources of help and you will too.
God bless and congratulation on the new baby. Love,
Loonybunny
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