needing encouragement

iVillage Member
Registered: 10-24-2007
needing encouragement
14
Fri, 01-18-2008 - 11:59am

Hello all. I just felt I should get a few takes on what I am doing. okay! I had decided that I would stay home with my baby once I have her and not return to work b/c for one its been so long since I had a baby I know I will be super attached, for two it seems so common to hear stories on the news about daycares who get closed b/c of mistreatment of children, leaving kids in the car while hot, diaper rashes b/c they don't change them on time. I know this all could happen anywhere, at any time but I know for sure it would not happen on my watch-so I chose to stay home. The FOB and I were at an understanding about me staying home b/c he wanted the same for his first child

Gabriall-Special People; Special Jobs

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iVillage Member
Registered: 10-24-2007
Mon, 01-21-2008 - 9:27am
Thanks alot! It does help to know I am not the only one going through these feelings and emotions. There will always be things that will try to hold
Gabriall-Special People; Special Jobs
iVillage Member
Registered: 05-13-2005
Mon, 01-21-2008 - 10:34am
Hi Gabriall - welcome - looks like you have received a lot of support and are looking into good options already. Good luck with everything and keep us posted!
iVillage Member
Registered: 10-24-2007
Mon, 01-21-2008 - 11:30am
Thanks!!!!
Gabriall-Special People; Special Jobs
Gabriall-Special People; Special Jobs
iVillage Member
Registered: 03-25-2002
Mon, 01-21-2008 - 12:18pm

Hi and welcome to the board, just thought I would chime in to say you are not alone... we here understand being a single mom, child support, seeking financial help, family support, finding quality day care, etc.... You can do it.

Please don't be afraid to ask for help. People need people. And sometimes, we show are greatest strengths when we ask for help.. i know that doesn't make much sense.... asking for help "feels" like we are weak.. but really it's the opposite. And most people LOVE to help!!!! I went to EVERY financial institute to find help when my youngest was born. It took many applications, but i finally found the financial help and i'm still using it.... And even before that, I humbled myself and got food and clothing from churches, etc. My biggest bill is child care and i'm so thankful that i recieve help to pay for that.... Have you looked up WIC (women infant and children) they will help you from the time you are pregnant. And getting help from services is a lot better than from a contolling FOB. In my situation, i turned him completely over to Social Services and Child Support Enforcement so I dont have to deal with him at all. They track him, down, garnish his wages, and send me a check.

EVERY child deserves the financial support of two parents. Period. Whether you were married or not. whether you like each other or not. It is his responsibilty and in VA if father's don't pay they go to JAIL. So, don't feel like you are asking for his help... it is his DUTY to financially support his child. The law is behind you on that one.... I have peace about it because i know that child support obligation never goes away... my ex owes me LOTS but even if he never pays me til he starts collecting Social Security... the government will garnish him forever! In the meantime, I've found other sources of help and you will too.

God bless and congratulation on the new baby. Love,
Loonybunny

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