The NERVE!
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| Fri, 03-03-2006 - 12:18am |
Generally, on Thursday nights, my exh has my dd. Therefore, a bunch of us get together, play cards, watch a movie, and then go out around 10pm or so. Well...crush knows that. However, this Thursday, my exh did not want to take dd, so I kept her, stayed home with her, and had some much needed cuddle time with her. A little after 10pm my phone rings. I answer it to some guy saying, "Kait, what are you doing?" The background was very loud and I really didn't know who it was. I asked who it was and they asked me what I was doing again. I figured it was my friend Bobby, so I said, "Bobby?" Wrong..it was crush. He said I thought you went out on Thursday nights. I told him that I had my dd and I wasn't planning on going anywhere. He continued to say that the only reason he went out was b/c he thought that I would be there. Okay..whatever. He was silent for a minute and then asked me if I would like to sing at the PBR in June. I told him that would be good, to just set it up for me. He told me that I would have to sing in front of the committee first, blah blah blah, and that I should call him sometime to find out when. Whatever, that'll probably never pan out in the first place. I know the only reason he called was b/c he was drinking and figured that I would come running to him. Not anymore...like I said, he had his chance, he threw it away, and now it's over and done with. I feel proud of myself in a lot of ways. A big part of me wishes that he would just leave everything alone. I don't think that there's anything left to say, esp. considering what he said to me last week. But...on a good note...I think this is a very big step for me. If last week never would have happened, then I probably would still be hung up on him. But, like I said, it's done. You all were very right. When he fell off of my radar, he fell hard...lol. I wasn't mean to him or anything on the phone, actually I was nice (b/c I'm generally nice to everyone no matter what they've said or done to me), but I was "matter of fact." So, maybe this is a step up for me....hopefully. Maybe I'm just coming to my senses - and it's about time, if I don't say so myself...lol!
Kait

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This doesn't change anything...but just to let you in on what I was just told:
My closest friend in the entire world was at the bar where crush was. He came up and started talking to her. Basically, she said that he wouldn't stop talking about me and she finally had to tell him she needed another drink just to get away from him.
He told her that when he told me all of that stuff last week that he didn't mean it. That he's just scared right now, etc. He said that his emotions are involved in all of this as well, and he thinks that mine are too. He continued to say that he just wanted to make sure that I was sure of where I was in my life, mainly to do w/ the fact that the next person he's with will be the last person. That he's not out there "hooking up" w/ people, b/c I'm the only person he's been with (as it is for me).
My questions are: why didn't he say that to me? Why is it that HE has to have some alcohol in him before he decides that he is into me? Why couldn't he just tell me all of this himself?
When I'm not thinking about him, moving on with my life, going out with different people, not harboring over the fact that he doesn't want me, he decides that he does and wants to call? It's crazy, immature, and I don't need it.
I told my friend that my feelings about this whole situation have not changed. He wasn't man enough to tell me any of this in the first place; he decided to hurt my feelings and make me feel like crap instead of being a man about everything. Well...it really is over for me. Funny how things turn out. Didn't I post recently that I was scared that just when I was done with it all he would decide that he did want something with me? Funny....
Kait
That isn't nerve - it is just stupidity. What you don't need is someone too pompous to be able to be humble and love someone else and worse still to call you up after drinking and blab all of that to a friend. It is a shame he has to have such a loss to realize what was in front of him.
I like the sounds of the new one so much better. He sounds so nice - and what an honor that he wants to take you on a date!!
Are you talking about singing the national anthem before a performance of the Professional Bull Riders (PBR?)
Stephanie
Did I not call it, or did I not call it? The guy is such a scum bucket! Way to go Hon! Just try and enjoy this new guy and get crush totally out of your system. He's nothing but bad news; which I know can be attractive, but you just need to have respect for yourself and don't give him the time of day again.
You called it...lol! I've been getting phone calls all day telling me about how crush was saying this and that about me....good grief! I just wish people would drop it.
As for the PBR...yeah...I'm going to be singing the national athem for the pro bull riders assoc. I'm excited about it. I've received a phone call about setting up an appt. w/ the committee this morning. It's not until June though. I sing everywhere and this would just be so much fun! Keep your fingers crossed for me!
Kait
Stephanie
Kait,
Here's the scenario I see...
He's telling your friend all this "information" about "how he feels" because he knows that your friend will run to you straightaway and tell you.
I'm excited too...I'm supposed to meet with the committee in two weeks!
As for my date tonight...it was so awesome! We didn't really do much of anything though...but I laughed so much tonight...it was really fun.
We went out to eat out of town (just about 20 minutes away..better restaurants), then we went to applebees where I work and met up with some of his friends. We sat there for a while and then went to his house. We just talked and laughed...it was a very comfortable date, no jitters or nerves really (well..at first, but they went away). I felt at ease, just having a good time, and just taking it for what it was. He asked me out for a second date. I told him my schedule, which is very hectic right now, but he told me that he would be happy with any time that I could see him, if it was only for an hour...lol. So, after I do my clinical on Sunday, go to church Sunday night, I'm going to go have a late dinner with him. However, my schedule really is busy with Leah, work, and school right now, so the dating thing w/ him will go very slowly, which is a very good thing. I don't want to much to fast, you know.
But...I did have a really good time...my face hurts b/c I laughed and smiled so much tonight! Trust me, the laughing and smiling was very much needed...!
Kait
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