Nervous About This Weekend

iVillage Member
Registered: 02-08-2006
Nervous About This Weekend
6
Tue, 02-21-2006 - 12:24pm
Ok, so I need everyone's advice. This weekend is my 25th birthday, and with everything that's going on with my dad, I have decided to celebrate. So, a whole bunch of my friends and I are going out dancing on Saturday, which is my actual birthday. My brother and sister in law are coming, and in all there will probably be about 30-40 of us.
So, about a month ago, a guy who is in a band with my good friend's husband emailed me and said that he liked me.
He's shy, and under it all, so am I. We have the same friends, I know he's a single dad, I'm a single mom, but other than that, I don't know much about him. I've known him casually for a few years, but I wasn't ready really to date, and I think he knew that. So I finally got the nerve to invite him to come out with us on Saturday, he said he'd like that... and that his band was playing Friday. Now, since there will be so many people there on Saturday, and since he'll be busy playing on Friday, how do I manage to have a conversation with him? Also, now that I am ready to date, I have decided, at least for a while, that I want to date casually, since I have never in my life done that, at least until I'm sure the guy I'm dating is right for me.
The thing is, this particular guy has seen me in some, ahem, compromising situations in the past. He was always the perfect gentleman. For example, one night, when out with my girlfriends while his band was playing, one of my girlfriends and I had too much to drink, and he ended up driving us home. He is best friends with her husband, so he took her home, and I ended up at his house(nothing happened). He then brought me back to my car in the morning. Since this was a couple of years ago, is it safe to assume it's water under the bridge? I'm still embarrassed about it.
Sorry this is so long, I can't believe how excited/nervous I am about a guy... I can't even remember the last time I felt like this. He's smart, sweet, a good dad... everything I know about him says I should get to know more about him. We have a lot in common, but not so much that he would bore me. He's older than I am, which in my experience is a good, good thing. The only concern I have (well, one of many, actually) is that he's looking for more of a relationship than I am. And that I have now way over thought everything... HELP, I think I'm going to go insane!
and thanks!
Tina
on the plus side, thinking about something fun and flirting is better than thinking about sad things!
sorry this is so long!

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iVillage Member
Registered: 04-17-2003
Tue, 02-21-2006 - 1:01pm
That sounds like a good plan to have him come out with you and a group of people! Don't sweat it about what happened a couple of years ago. Pretend it never happened and don't repeat it! lol!
I will tell you what my friends have been telling me since I have met someone I like and have recently started dating. Don't put so much pressure on yourself. Go with what you KNOW and enjoy yourself. You KNOW that he has accepted your invitation. Go from there and see what happens.
It IS fun to be excited and have something to look forward to! Just don't do what I used to do. OVERANALYZE! RELAX and keep us posted. Trust me, it's easier said than done!!!
Stephanie
iVillage Member
Registered: 02-08-2006
Tue, 02-21-2006 - 3:23pm
You're right. I am just going to concentrate on having fun with my friends... dancing and singing and laughing and see where it goes. If nothing happens, I'll still be surrounded by people who love me, which is an awesome thing.

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iVillage Member
Registered: 05-13-2005
Thu, 02-23-2006 - 8:28am

I don't think you have to worry about your previous "compromising" situation that he viewed - he probably sees much worse in the bar and you have a chance to redeem yourself now. Yes, that is indeed water under the bridge.

Don't worry about what he wants or what you are ready for - just get out there and have a good time - see how it goes.

I hope you look absolutely stunning and you have a great time!! Tell us DETAILS when you are done!

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iVillage Member
Registered: 02-08-2006
Fri, 02-24-2006 - 1:30pm
Ok, so thanks to everyone for the advice. I am going to have a great time, I am sure. I plan on *trying* to relax, and just go with it, whatever happens. Since so many people are going to be there, I know I'll have a great time, even if nothing happens between us. I will definitely let you all know the details Monday, though!

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iVillage Member
Registered: 04-17-2003
Fri, 02-24-2006 - 3:24pm
I can't wait to hear how things go! Have fun!
Stephanie
iVillage Member
Registered: 05-13-2005
Fri, 02-24-2006 - 10:07pm
Good luck and come right back here on Monday morning so we get to hear details!!
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