new and looking for advice....

iVillage Member
Registered: 09-08-2003
new and looking for advice....
28
Tue, 04-15-2008 - 8:14pm

Hi,


I am new here, and figured I would start by looking for other moms in relationships I guess?!?!

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iVillage Member
Registered: 11-22-2006
Tue, 04-15-2008 - 8:32pm
I just wanted to tell you that my experience is that at about the year mark, you feel a shift in energy and you just see each other more realistically. In the beginning things are rosy and the best foot is always forward but by the end of the first year, you really have a better grasp of your good and not so good points as a couple in terms of being compatible. I think everything that you are feeling is part of that process. I have both broken up around the year to year and a half mark knowing we had reached the end of our time together or I have let things go further as I am currently with my bf who lives with my son and I. He moved in last December officially and we will have been together 2 years this June. We are softening a bit more now with one another and letting guards down and setting goals as a couple and making a home together and feeling family. it is a stressful time as we delve more into our true selves around one another but I honestly think we have fallen deeper in love within the last few months. I guess I just wanted to validate your feelings because I truly think I have had them at the year mark with EVERY relationship I have been in. Different outcomes but the same year mark feeling...
Lilypie - Personal picture
iVillage Member
Registered: 12-27-2006
Wed, 04-16-2008 - 2:02am

Sherry, No real answers {{{{just hugs}}}}


Do the kids get along?

~~Tiny

~Karen
˙·٠•●♥Ƹ̵̡&#1244
iVillage Member
Registered: 09-08-2003
Thu, 04-17-2008 - 5:57pm

Thank you SO much for your reply!!

iVillage Member
Registered: 09-08-2003
Thu, 04-17-2008 - 6:03pm

Hi, as for the kids, I have four and he has three.

iVillage Member
Registered: 05-13-2005
Thu, 04-17-2008 - 8:00pm
I think this is a great observation, city. And sounds like you are doing very good. Must be all the music you both are making.
iVillage Member
Registered: 06-21-2007
Fri, 04-18-2008 - 12:17am

Ok, well I went from a 10 yr marriage and was 16 years old when it started and 26 when it ended. I'm now 28 ;)

I think you HAVE to find the right relationship for you and your kids. The first guy I dated was a friend and great and we were talking about moving in together after about 2 months. I ended it because I realized I was just trying to recreate having a husband. Bad idea.

Now, I've been with my current guy for over a year. We live about 45 minutes apart, see each other about once a week, talk every day, and attend events together as a couple. My friends/family were ok with this for about 8 months. Then they wanted it to be more "serious" ie. us getting married/moving in together. Well, that isn't happening right now. OUR timetable is different than theirs. I'm sick of their concern, but I understand it's out of love. They otherwise love the guy to death. But they want him to be "committed" as though I'm just sitting on a leaf waiting for him to decide to marry me...

So sometimes your time frame is different and that's ok. You have to be alright with other people not liking it, which sucks at times :/ Stick with what you know works for you!

iVillage Member
Registered: 09-08-2003
Mon, 04-21-2008 - 7:00pm

Hi, First, let me say THANK YOU!!!

Avatar for mhash
iVillage Member
Registered: 03-27-2003
Mon, 04-21-2008 - 7:33pm

I know what are my core values and what I want with a partner.

iVillage Member
Registered: 11-03-2003
Mon, 04-21-2008 - 7:48pm

Are you being anal in wanting someone financially stable enough to hold down a job, and emotionally stable enough to tell the truth?


Heavens, no!

iVillage Member
Registered: 10-07-2005
Mon, 04-21-2008 - 8:17pm

"But, at the same time there were things he lied to me about, and when he explains it to me, he makes it sound like he actually has a 'good' reason to his thinking,"


Um- what did he lie about?


Was it the typical, "no, that doesn't make your butt look big" when you KNOW it does or what???


I agree with Mark- you want a relationship built on trust.


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