new and looking for advice....
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new and looking for advice....
| Tue, 04-15-2008 - 8:14pm |
Hi,
I am new here, and figured I would start by looking for other moms in relationships I guess?!?!
| Tue, 04-15-2008 - 8:14pm |
Hi,
I am new here, and figured I would start by looking for other moms in relationships I guess?!?!
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I have the same questions as Alison-
What has he lied about? And what are the circumstances around his being without work?
1st ... Welcome.
2nd ...
Mark,
Thank you for a males point of view and opinion on my relationship questions.
Alison,
Hi, and thank you for writing back!
Pacific,
I sent the 'story' out there to alison, if you'd like to read that and let me know your thoughts, I would love to hear your opinions!!! thank you!!!!
You are welcome Sherry.
I want to make an important distinction between giving advice and sharing my experience and views of what I would do. Giving advice is telling you what to do. What I hope I have done is to share my perspective and my own views of how I would conduct myself if I was in your shoes.
My hot button is someone telling me what to do. Old stuff that I dealt with growing up with my Father.
Giving advice implies that the other person does not have their own wisdom, wherewithal or maturity to figure out what to do. Even with my own children I find that it is more effective and beneficial that they learn better when they figure it out themselves rather than being told what to do. Even if I "know better" I also know that it is better in the long run for the other person to learn from their own experience.
Mark
We're fools whether we dance or not, so we might as well dance. ~Japanese Proverb
rebecca,
OMG....I had to laugh literally out loud on that one!! you absolutely crack me up!!! thank you for your bluntly honest views and opinions and truthfulness even about yourself!!! I truly appreciated it all!!!
I have been in and out of work many times in my life. I tell people my spiritual journey was driven by desperation for that was a situation I did not want to be in for I was the sole supporter of a family (never mind my wife at the time did not feel the need to support me emotionally or to volunteer to look for work). I have dated when I was out of work and was up front about it for I know it's really important for women to have that security and a lot have a history of deadbeat relationships. For the most part, they were reassured that I was actively looking for work versus just lazing around, not paying my support payments, etc.
Caution: I have seen women (not my personal experience with me but with my friends and others) who have become co-dependent with their mates/lovers and try to "help" them find jobs. This is enabling behavior.
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